~My Heart Will Never Mend~

Care~

2012-01-23T00:32:00.000+08:00

Honestly, i rarely blog. but i just cant help it. :( Im really down and i dont know who to turn to. i just gotta let it out. . The only thing that i really want from you is to show that you care. but its really too much to ask from you isnt it? of course it is. you substitute me with unnecessary things. I was a temporary. im just some pleasure that you take advantage of for awhile. after you used me, you throw me away. sometimes i really regret. regret that i talked to you. regret that i had the 'man instict' to talked to you just because i was attracted to you. see where it led me into? just more disheartened. just plain heartbroken. yes i admit that im attracted to you from the beginning but never thought it would be this strong. :/ im really stress. i dont know how im feeling right now. on one hand, i think you're everything. on the other, im just a temporary. sometimes i know that you said all the things you have to say just because you think that its suppose to be that way. you dont feel it. i felt it. but its really really hard when only myself feeling them. and the fucked up part is when you are not affected at all. you live your own life as per normal. whereas im right here, thinking all day all night about this. fuck! and the shitty thing is, i dont blame you for it. i blame myself for thinking that i even had the slightest chance. the other fucked up part was also when we went out together, fcking hell you know how to make me feel so good and so 'in love' with everything you do. ERGH! im trying my best to hate you. to lose all that feeling but guess what? i cant. AND! i knw that i wont get shit from you coz you could care less about me. you have tons of friends out there who's dying 'to get to know' you better. Fuck this shit. im tired of this crap! ergh fcking hell. gotta stop thinking about you and let myself move on. :'/ this is giong to be fcking hard!

2011-12-03T23:05:00.001+08:00

So today went to the Universal Studio Singapore with family<3 for the 2nd time this year. It was awesome! <3 love it la. Eventhough i didnt get to ride the Galactica coz my family so not want to, i still had fun. best! :) Veh Naise~ There was also some complications. It rain! sob sob~ but thank god we were able to ride 'The Mummy' and 'Transformers The Ride'! OMG Transformers The Ride was the best 4D experience ive ever had. You're not even moving as a roller coaster. I dont know how to explain but it was really AWESOME! is a must to try k? my parents tried and became Transformers fans all of a sudden~ -.- haha! My dad even bought the Transformers Pouch~ -.- Well other than that we had been to Vivo city to eat and the rest was just slacking~ haha! I bought a Transformers Bag Myself~ ^^

On the Flip Side~

Sigh why am i feeling like this? Why you make me feel like this? I somehow know that if we are going to be together, ill may not be the best for you coz you are the type that have alot of guy friends and i know that most of them are obviously dont want to be just a friend and the fckd up part is that you will confirm "layan" them~ and its not okay for me! I may be understanding but at the same time i need you to understand me too~ :/ but that if we are together. but ive dreamt about us being together and its the most beautiful thing. :( ERGH! got to keep to "No women, no try. Be a man with no cry" :'( sigh! maybe thats the best for me. haissssss.

I love you but i don't

2011-12-03T01:12:00.001+08:00

I'm Confused, afraid, reluctant and most importantly I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU~

2011-05-30T18:41:00.002+08:00

Having a child is not that bad what? i mean, if you nurture and gives the child the attention needed, probably you have a chance with the child. i think they are precious. i mean, how can something be so delicate and pure? so small but yet growing. so soft and light. so alive! you know what i mean? ive heard complains of tiredness and busy-ness of taking care of a child. its true i guess, but its all worth it once you see them grow and be someone you are gonna be proud of. I've seen the child in the photo grew up since the moment she was born. i held her and i could feel tears running down my face as i kissed her forehead. It was a very special moment for me. and im going to watch her grow and hopefully make me proud someday.

Anyway, i just had my mother tongue o level examination earlier today. For the bloody 3rd time la eh please! i took it twice last year before this one. and both results were C5! wth right? so im taking it again. and hopefully with the confidence i have for todays paper, hopefully its better. B3 pun jadi la weiii! haha! k despo much? yes honestly i am. haha.

I'll be having bridging program for the first two weeks of school holiday. OOPS! i cannot say its a holiday coz ITS NOT! i cant believe we're having school for two weeks! last year was only a week of school! and to think it could not any better, school ends at 4.30 everyday!? wow! im jumping for joy! -.-~ well, i guess its for the best? like mummy says, "biar susah sekarang, senang nanti" hais. i hate it when mummy is right. -_-~

2011-05-09T21:15:00.002+08:00

Hello! okay i know its been awhile since i post about anything. i was really busy. and besides, i dont really have anything to post about. nothing interesting. haha. and my mid-year exams were ongoing. tomorow's geog paper, okay. i dont have the slighest confidence in doing well for my mid-year at all. i realise that ive been studying hard but not smart! okay.i study like crap for the subjects but the one that came out, was not what i expected it to be. but oh well, i guess i took things lightly. haiyo. i felt so screwed. i know its just mid year, but still, it tell me where im at in terms of academics. sigh, and it looks disappointing. :/

Other than that, ive just watched this movie at HBO entitled "He's just not into you" and it was awesome! it tells us about the pros and cons on dating/relationship/love and etc. Somehow i find it rather useful. haha! and that movie was 3-4 years back. how come i nevr heard about it? haha. oh well. im glad i watch it. haha! great movie. go watchit you guys!

Well, i think i will stop for now. i got to continue with my study. :( i know right. its sucks to study. but i gotta do what i gotta do. :D so ill post soon enough.

toodles~

2011-04-27T21:00:00.001+08:00

I'LL update very soon! im too busy to update! besides no one reads it anyway! hahaha! :)

2011-04-01T11:48:00.003+08:00

So i found this video that me and my sister did. Its a cover from Krispatih- Lagu Rindu. and wow! i realise that it been quite awhile since i did a cover. hmm. i miss doing that. haiya, been busy with school and other stuff.so its really hard. but hopefully be busy by this year only uh. o btw, im deleting facebook very very soon. 0.0 for some personal reasons. so jyeah. but i might blog. if i have the time. :D

well, its a new month. APRIL! please be nice to me ok? oh before i forget, im gonna slap the first person who wants to "APRIL FOOL" me. hahaha! i mean it. >:)

Anw, this video i posted is dedicated to a wonderful person that i came across. and i hope she enjoy the video. and truthfully, just listen to my sister sing, she has got talent. :D And I MISS YOU MORE YAYA! <3

2011-03-26T14:41:00.002+08:00

"No Women, No Try! Be A Man With No Cry!"

maybe i should try this principal. i mean, seriously. im tired of girls. im not saying im gay or anything. its just that i have not met anyone that truly understands and know me. every girl i met and started to like, left me heartbreaks. its really tiring. I've watched many young couples out there, holding hands and snuggling with each other, and i thought to myself, are they gonna last? are they gonna be able to forget all this once they've broken up? its the same questions not only i asked, but most of the young couples too. and see what happens. start off as friends, slowly gettng intimate with one another, become lovers, slowly getting issues, broke ups, and now become enemies. btw, i said most. not all.

and i dont believe in getting back as friends after breaking up. i mean cmon, you guys broke up mostly about cheating or something horrible that has happen. are you really gonna be "just friends" with your partner? its bullcrap. btw, it is possible though but it takes months to get over it or years in fact. and for those who mention tat they cn be friends after break ups, that goes to shows that you dont love them enough. coz think about it, if you really love that person, and you guys broke up. isnt it hard for you to be able to be "just friends" with them? its gonna be damn hard just by talking to them. let alone be friends. coz memories are there. you wont forgt about the memories just like that. it takes time.

I'm sorry. i just got to let it out. those of you who read my blog, which i doubt many who does since i only let few people know about my blog, if you think differently, up to you. i dont mind. im postng based on my experience. so if you have a different opinion, that's up to you. so jyeah.

that's all for today. ive been sick since like forever.

2011-03-21T17:56:00.002+08:00

Look at this picture. tis picture was taken when i was 14. There are no particular difference in my appearence when i was 14 and now 17. only that i grew taller. my face didnt change. -.- haiya. sometimes i wished my face would somehow change soon. hee. and wow, I'm 17. how super fast is that? it seems like onl yesterday that i had my 13th birthday party. haha! time does travel fast! 0.0

alright, school term has start. and my gawd, super lots of CRAP! (homeworks and assignment). sometimes i wished all my work would automatically be done. i will be the happiest person alive. hee. but i know, nothing will be achieved without hardwork. blablabla. haha! okay.

honestly, i think my friends are like the best. they never fail to make me laugh. although im the one who starts the punchline, but still, they would add up on it. haha. so jyeah it feels so good yknow. evn though i come to school, feeling all messed up since im still recovering from my sickness, they light me up with their crazyness uh. i dont know how to survive without them nxt year. :( but nvm, my future is as important as them. :D we'll stay in contact someway or another. :D

k la, now i wanna do my wrk. i hope to get it done without getting distracted. xp. butthat' kinda impossible.

2011-03-19T17:31:00.003+08:00

Presenting Aizat. He is a Malaysian singer. quite popular i might add. anw, i have a very important question. DO I LOOK ANYTHING LIKE HIM!? i really wanna know. people said i look like him. i beg to differ. -.- its irritating. haha.

so i just came back from holiday- 3d2n trip in johor. i know right boring. but that's not the worst, the worst part was the sickness i had to overcome. the whole freaking holiday was ruined coz i was sick uh. stress siol! haha. it was hardship for me. seriously. felt like dying sia. i have to force myself to eat something coz my medication clearly stated "must be taken after food" -.- thanks doc! anw, i kinda have some fun too. had a few laugh. i cant laugh too much coz ill end up coughing. i dont mind coughing. i hate flu! ergh! stupid flu!!! it was hard for me to go to bed coz first, i was in a hotel air condition room. and 2nd, the flu was freaking irritating! it was like a bad sickness combo! and te medication had "side-effects" like migrane and stuff. till now i feel like knocking out. but i cant. HAHA! ouh jyeah, other than that, whenever and wherever i go to malaysia, without fail 1 or 2 people will mention that i look like Aizat. -.- wow thanks! seriously, i dont look like aizat! or do i?

k la, i have nothing else to say but maybe to mention about the new term in school. :D i might be changing my ways of studying. i might be spending more time in school to recap on the lessons covered. and for the weekends, i might be going to the library more often. P.s realise i used the word "might"? see how careful am i? HAHA! :D

2011-03-16T14:18:00.005+08:00

Sedihkan muka fyque? mcm nk kesian kan pun ada, mcm nk kene sepak pun ada! haha! tu la kehidupan fyque, kalau tk sedih, happy. kalau tk happy, sedih. it will just keep on revolving like the earth revolving around the sun. kehidupan fyque nie tak complicated sangat. sebenarnye senang je. fyque cuma belajar di sekolah, jadi umat islam yang soleh, dan jadi anak yang semua ibubapa impi-impikan. tetapi, fyque, seperti ramai remaja2 yang ada dekat luar sana, ada masalah yang mencabar kesabaran dan emosi. masalah fyque boleh diselesaikan, cuma fyque inginkan bantuan je. iaitu sokongan dari keluarga dan kawan2. Malangnya, kedua2 pertolongan, hanya menambah masalah yang fyque sedang hadapi.

keluarga fyque tak habis2 inginkan fyque belajar sahaja. maklumlah fyque akan mengambil peperiksaan O-level tahun ini. fyque tahu niat keluarga fyque memang baik. tetapi mereka harus faham tentang keperluan fyque tersendiri. kalau tiap2 kali fyque asyik harus belajar, fyque sendiri stress. fyque pantang kalau disuruh belajar apabila fyque dipaksa. senang kata, fyque tak akan progress kalau dipaksa. fyque kene ikut mood. lagipun, fyque punye results not bad what?! -.- agaknye la.

Lagi satu pula, kawan2 fyque. entah la. kebelakangan ni, fyque mcm kene pakai buang gitu uh. kalau kawan bermasalah, mereka datang kat fyque. kalau tidak, mereka tk pandang fyque pun. fyque hanya katakan tentang some of my friends je. tak semua. ada yang selalu berada disisi. :) fyque hanya ingin tahu, kenapa kawan2 yang fyque ambil berat tentang, selalunye tidak ambil kisah pada fyque. dan ape yang buat fyque lagi binggung adalah apabila mereka berkata macam2 untuk membuat fyque percaya dengan kata2 manis mereka. tiba2, mereka lupakan fyque gitu sahaja. fyque tk kisah kalau mereka sudah tk nk berkawan ngan fyque. tetapi setidak-tidaknye, beritahu fyque la. takmo simpan2. nanti fyque pikir yang bukan2 uh. :/

hmm. ape la nasib hidup aku ...

i have no freaking idea why i speak malay+some english.

but i need to improve on my bahasa. :D

Oh yeah, btw tomoro im going johore till saturday! wohooo! shopping spree! i hope. -.- AHAH! yay! dont miss me so much while im away. haha! toodles! :D

2011-03-13T19:35:00.002+08:00

Introducing, Julia Sheer and Tyler Ward

Both my favourite youtube artist! :D they are awesome! go search for them and subscribe! I'll assure you, you'll love them! as much as i do! :D

K, i dont know what to post about la actually. so im gonna post about yesterday event. went out to work early in the morning. then after work, met putri at vivo. we were supposed to give a surprise birthday bash for Ika and Hirzi. haha! but kinda fail? we were supposed to buy her a cake but gueas what, VIVO somehow dont have a freaking cake shop! not that we are aware of anyway. so we panicked and decided to buy donuts instead. hha! funny shit. then after that, ika and some friends came. so we bash2. then blah3. haha! k after that we went arab street. planning to go shisha but last minute cancel. so we went clark quay. we lepak sampai kul 9.30. then we balik! :D pictures will be uploaded in facebook. ill upload some here also. :D

SO jyeah! that's all i guess! toodles! :D

2011-03-11T19:56:00.003+08:00

Today is the last day of Term 1. it feels so fast. it seems like it was just yesterday was the first day of school. wow. time flies so fast. and soon gonna sit for my upcoming O-level exams. damn it. i am so not ready. maybe for now not ready uh. my CA1 results was not up to my expectations uh. :( so sad. 1 A1, 1 A2, 2 B3, 2 C5 and 1 C6. EEEEW! that totally sucks la kan! i just couldnt accept the fact that im doing badly for my english. this always happens to me. im concentrating on all my weaker subjects and nt focusing on my good once. see the results. my english drops from B3 to C5! the shit laa! :( k, i got to do better for my mid-year sia! die2 must do well! :D

You used to call me everyday
the words mean nothing
without someone to say
now I stand beside myself in the pouring rain
and I just want to see your face
When you're far away
I miss you
but I know you're here with me
when you're far away
I need you
I lie awake it's ten past three
this empty feeling
and baby I can't sleep
the only thing I left behind
a smile you can't see
I need you
And I won't go back
and I can't go back
you're all I ever needed
I want you back
but you can't come back
you know I didn't mean it
I take it back
and still i pray
for one more chance
for one more day with you
with you.

i just want to know if im present in your life~

2011-03-06T20:13:00.003+08:00

I miss my coloured hair. :( haa. nvm, by the end of this year, my hair back! HHA k lame. i can't believe i spend my entire weekends at home. wow superb! i love it! NOT! k i'm rarely at home seh especially on weekends. hmm. i didnt do anything else except to eat. -.- im getting fcking fat sia. fck! k, new resolution starting whenever i want to. i gotta stay fit! eversince my tournament and training was over, im fcking munching on junks! damn it. got to get myself into shape sia! -.- k whatever la.

Listening to your voice brings back memories. really. the way your laugh never fails to make me smile. the way your eyes never fails to make me feel weak. the way you speak never fails to leave me speechless. the way your scent never fails to make me have addiction. sometimes i just wished it would just be the way it used to. even if she have to hurt me again. i dont mind. as long as i can feel the love between us again. it took me all this while only to have the guts to talk to her. i despised her. what she has done to me was rather unfair and hurtful. i knew that the reason we broke up was not about my past. i knew it has gt to be a third party. and its true. she confessed. i actually felt relief that she tld me the truth. it make it so much easier for me to forgive her. to be honet, i already forgive you long time ago. its just that i am not ready to man it up. oh well, its already been said and done. no point crying over spilt milk right? so jyeah. now me and her are back to being friends. im glad that we made up. :)

I miss you Goofbar.

2011-03-05T00:03:00.002+08:00

Putri Qistina have been my closest friend since i started my secondary school life. She has always been there where i could talk to or just being crap. but we should realise that we wont be sticking to only one friend. there are always othr social circles out there that are better. I'm not hinting or anything. but She just aint there for me when i needed her. she's not like she used to. sometimes she's fun to be with but sometimes she's just too mature to entertain my crazyness. dont worry guys, my friendship with her are still there and i love her like hell. just wanted to point out that there are never any bestfriends in this world. ;D

speaking of friendship,i pissed at someone. just because i cant go to your place like i said i would, didnt give you the fcking right to screw me. you just made it worst. you asked me what kind of a friend i am?! fck you! asked yourself what kind of friend am i that i cant even understand the situation he is in?! sometimes right, i feel like punching your face sia. but yknow what, i just let it go and you know what? i eventually went to your effing place, pretending to be alright. fck you! okay fine, i know you're mad and shit, but dont treat me like im plastic. i got feelings too. its not to my power if my parents dont allow me. shit you i ave to cancel my bloody outing with my family just to go your house! -.- _|_

OTHER THAN THAT!
had sportsday just now! YELLOW HOUSE WON CHAMPION HOUSE! WE JUST MADE HISTORY COZ YELLOW HOUSE RARELY WON ANYTHING FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS! haha! congrates yellow! :D wooohooo! :D

k take care. penat uh. nk sleep:D

2011-03-01T18:52:00.003+08:00

Happy Belated Birthday Umi!:)
i know i should have posted this on the date of her birthday but i was super busy. but hey! i did it anyway. so i wanna take this opportunity to wish her and also apologizes for all the wrong doings ive done so far. then later can forgive me for other sins during hari raya! HAHAH! xp. well, other than that, i hope you live your life to the fullest and be happy. :D

I love you so much umi! :D

2011-02-22T21:10:00.002+08:00

Sumpah today semua bende mcm sial!

i mean cmon uh. what is it? what the fcuk did i do wrong sia?!
the moment i reach home, kena sound! wth.

first, about my phone. it sucks. it just wont work. so i said, get me a new phone uh. my sis say, she'll get for me iphone4 since she get a discount at her workplace. so i said okay uh can. then my dad eavesdrop and he rejected that idea uh. coz he said i cant even handle my own phone and bills. then im like, do i look like im working?!!!! god damn it la! k fine wtf uh kan!

then another thing, my sis just went back home from work, she bought me my favourite strawberry milk. so i was like YAY! but then my nenek said something fking hurtful uh. she said something like, you already fat still drink milk? 0.o! wtf is her fking problem?! i mean, im the one getting fkng fat not her, so why the fck she fcking care?! im not that offended uh but fck my own fcking business! geezus!

then the last thing was that just now i was late for school. so i took the cab to school and the whole ride cost $14. so i told my mum about it. my dad being there, he just had to fcking comment! he said something like, why tae the cab? dont have public transport is it? then im like, WTF?! i was already late, wtf you want me to do? fly?! then he was like, if late for school, dont need to go to school uh. then im like, last time when i didnt go school because i come school late, you angry? now you encourage me to skip school just because im late for school? what's this?! then he said, i gave you $20 fr you to survive in school for a week and you waste it on a cab?! makes sense?! then im like, i never ask you for money what? so whats the problem? im just informing you. -.-

fck sia! wtf is wrong sia with all this crap sia?!!!!!!! fck it laaaaaa!
bye!

2011-02-21T17:01:00.002+08:00

K cantik uh kan!
my handphone isnt working!
this has happened before. omg! stress!
so the wrong timing uh! wth!
anw, i hope my dad or sis would buy for a new one. since every single one of my family members are enjoying thier NEW HANDPHONE! except for mine. -.-
oh pretty please! i need to have a new phone! tak bedek! LOL!

Today school, ubber boring! hah! standard situation.

Omg maths! just kill me! really, i dont understand crap! :D

k that's all folks! :D

2011-02-20T19:58:00.002+08:00

I knew that this would happened. i dont even know why i feel this way. its not her, but i just feel alot about her. is it because we had alot of similarities that its beginning to make me fall for her? or is it just because people said i look good with her? i dont know. but the shitty thing is that she shows no interest in me. maybe im being paranoid uh. but i dont know uh. im not giving high hopes uh but damn, i really wish my heart may mend from the past. and how i hope she would be the one to mend this broken heart. but i guess, im asking too much. :\

2011-02-20T10:17:00.002+08:00

I want this camera so badly.

Anyway, i just want to give a brief summary about what had happened in 2011 so far. So basically, this year, my friends and i joined chingay for the very first time. and its over! but it was awesome. then i had my birthday on the 11th of february celebrations and what not. then my soccer tournament ended so fast. well, we didnt get through to the 2nd round. its sad i know. but its okay, we did our best. so basically that's it.

So fr now, snce i am not that busy. ill be busy with studies. that's for sure. :D

so jyeah~! till here. bye!

2011-02-19T20:57:00.003+08:00

OKAY!

it has been 2011 for more than 1 month now!

i dont know why i am even blogging. i just felt like it.

its been super long uh since i blog. oh my gawd.

and my lastest post was like june?! and i was like emo-ing. LOL

childishhhh! hahhaha! the past is the past. :D

Anw, 2011, a new beginning. i guess its a another year of Ups and Downsssssss! but gonna live it to the fullest though. i am soooooooo bored right now. omg.

i think im gonna start blogging from now on. so jyeah. coz a lot of crap has been happenng now. so i guess i need to let it out somewhere, somehow.

so Mrs. blog, i need you. please let me write in here. i just need to let what i feel now. hee! :D

till here i guess.

2010-06-04T21:34:00.001+08:00

"You're my idiot, and will always be"

i really hope its for me. seriously coz honestly,

"You're my Stupid, and will always be too"

:'(

2010-06-03T00:15:00.002+08:00

"Look, honey, we tried. we fought. we suffered for our love.
but jyeah, look at it.. it goes no where. we ended up quarelling. even if we were to be back together, i dont think you or myself would treat each other as we used to. probably you would have know about this, and maybe you alreay wanted this to be over.
i understand and i dont blame you if you hate me. honestly, ive never hated you for the things you've done. hais. this isnt easy for me. coz at this point of time, i dont know what im doing.
im grateful though. to be able to be love and love such a speacial girl in my heart.
this might hurt you or maybe not but you know its not going to work out.
although its goodbye, you always have a place in my heart. honestly, omg, i feel like crying right now. haha. sigh. but maybe its the best for us? im also glad that you have close friends like harvin, saran and li zhe. although i only trust li zhe to take care of you then the other two, but who am i to say? heh. its your life. there's only one thing left i want from you, to have our picture taken one of this days. if that's okay with you? i dont know what else to say. i just want you to lead a happy life ahead. and dont be afraid to approach me if you want or need anything. im just a phone call away. this might be the last time ill be saying this directly to you. i love you. hmm. "

sometimes i wished it wasnt so.
what is this? what happens to relationships, started off so good but ended up so bad.
how i wished that things would happened so differently.
i tried to save us many times but still you couldnt see.
:(

2010-05-27T15:11:00.002+08:00

i never really believe what others says about you.

coz i love you and i thought i know you very well.

maybe i dont.

you dont know what hurts me. you dont know what i want. you dont know anything about me.

you know what hurts me the most? you dont know how to love me.

so just cry me a river.......

2010-05-23T22:02:00.001+08:00

I CRIED IN MY SLEEP BECAUSE OF YOU! and you laid back as though nothing happened.

You take things for granted. regretting only after you lost it.

*shakes heads*

i dont understand. i really dont. :

2010-05-07T21:21:00.002+08:00

Im tired. im sick. im sick and tired of hoping.
im tired of thinking. im tired of pretending that everything is ok
when the fact is, its not. im tired of telling everyone that its ok, dont worry.
when deep down i know, im worried like hell and everything's not ok. everything changed.
i should have listen to those who neglected about the decisions that we're gonna take. but no, we were blinded by our thoughts, feelings. we were never ready. we knew that. but we try it anw. and look where it brought us. we both were in a wrong. no doubt about that. i was too emotional, you were just too careless. is this fate? i tried so many times to save us but still you couldnt see. you chose the easy way out- to leave. without even putting any fucking effort in saving us.

i feel foolish, foolish that i still wants you even after all that you've done. im embarrassed by myself as i couldnt even let you slip away from me. i never wanted you to be gone from my life. i never wanted you to leave. we've been through so much to end this. but why cant you see it? why you never showed that you wanted this? i wanted the real thing but you lost the feelings for me. so we went back to just friends. back to the way we used to be. but still, its the same thing. you tryna avoid me? you have another guy? what is it? just tell me so that i could put my mind at ease. i really want this to be back to normal, but you are not helping me. this is what both of us want but you are not putting any effort to do so. you're afraid you'll hurt me. girl, nobody's perfect. but at least put an effort to not hurt me. do less things that you'll know you'll hurt me. and ill do the same. but even now, you're already doing things that i dislikes. what's this?

now im thinking very hard. should i let you go? or should i believe that we'll pull it through. but by the looks of it, you dont even care about whats going on here. im upset that we only had that period of time together. i wanted more but maybe its fate. i never wanted this to end. but i guess, since you're not interested. why should i? im thinking of us just being schoolmates and just pretend that none of this ever happened. you'll go your way. ill go mine. but why is it so fucking hard?!

:'(

2010-05-01T14:23:00.002+08:00

I'm sure you've heard this words before. And i know its hard for you to trust them once more.
you're afraid it all might end. and a broken heart is scared of breakin again.
but you gotta believe me, ill will not leave you.
you'll never cry as long as i am there. and i will always be there and you will never be without love. as long as sunlight lights the sky. light of love will be found in these eyes of mine
and i will shine that light for you. you're the only one. ill ever give this heart to. what im trying to say is, nothing can change this. there'll be no time you wont find me there. coz i will always be there and you will always have all my love. when this world doesnt turn anymore. when the stars all decide to stop shining. till then im gonna be by your side. im gonna be loving you till the end. everyday of my life.

2010-04-28T19:45:00.003+08:00

The very first attempt two days ago.

4 panadols
1 hour later another 2 panadols
halve an hour later another 2 popped in.

second attempt yesterday.
3 panadol
3 hours later, 2 more

NOW.
5 panadol straight down my throat.

my hand is shivering, im really cold now.

2010-04-18T21:59:00.002+08:00

IM SAD!

im fed up because im not able to play my favourite sports and stuff.

i tore a small amount of my ligaments. and i might not be able to play soccer.

there goes my soccer career. :(

I MISS STITCH! :(
im sorry baby. i wasnt mad at you. i was fed up coz of my knee. im fed up coz my knee is busted and i cant do anything. :(
i feel useless. really. i love you. i shouldnt be mad at you. :(
im sorry.

2010-04-14T19:59:00.002+08:00

I TWISTED MY KNEE! :'(

it hurts so freaking bad!

how in the hell am i going to play soccer? i can hardly walk!

i could hear a "click" sound when i was sprinting! and the next thing i know! BAMM! i fell to the ground in pain! it hurts so bad. i thought it was broken for god sake! but thank god i still have the strength to walk home! :D

thanks to all the people who was worried about me! :D

i cant do any activity already! :( this is so boring!

if it gets worst, ill go to visit the doctor tomoro. :(
but i want go school. :(
sigh!

2010-04-11T18:35:00.002+08:00

exams are near. im not ready for shit!

so what now? ive been studying recently but kept getting distracted. i dont know la about alot of stuff. im really ergh! i can do it! really i love getting distracted. i'm feeling sad right now. and seriously, i got no one to let this out to. coz there's no one understands me. sumpah! like they can give me the advise that i already know but they still dont know how i feel or been through.
why this keeps happening to me?

and recently, im getting short tempered. got one time, i was doing maths and i dont get the shitty question and i tore the paper intio pieces. i took the pillow and went to sleep. feeling frustrated. i dont know what's happening to me. and recently im also quite rude to some of my friends uh. im sorry whoever notice me being rude. i really didnt meant to. but yeah, coz now i feel like some of my friends are being immature and idiots. so sometimes i got fed up with that and screw them! yeah i dont know. maybe ive change. i dont know. :(

i really dont know what you want from me.
one time you say you love me and miss me.
but how come you never really show it? you never showed that you care.
you never showed that you love me. what?! is it like this?! is this how girls treat their partners?
are your words just for the sake of saying? through pityness? cmon uh!
if you dont love me anymore, seriously just say it.
it hurts me more to know that you dont love me but still let me think you love me.
im not some idiot which you can use. :(

ergh! fck my life!

i cant wait for 2012! oh how i wish its the end of the world!

My parents are my bestfriend

2010-04-06T21:24:00.004+08:00

First and far most, i would like to really really talk about my parents.
have you ever felt that at certain times you feel like killing your parents for thier attitude towards you? you feel like they dont know you? dont understand you?
feel like they criticized you? feel that you're unimportant to them?
well, i had experience such cases. and i wont lie that i want to just ran away from home or maybe just kill myself. BUT an incident made me realise one thing about parents.
no matter how bad you think you parents are, all they ever want to do is to give the best for their children. really!

i realise one thing about my parents. they are the most opened minded people ive ever known. i think compared to all my friends, my parents are like the most opened minded. i did something foolish recently and got caught for doing it. and my parents got to know.
and i already knew i was in deep shit! i kept picturing in my head about what they are going to do to me although they never beaten me up and stuff before.
but as i got back home. my mum went to me and we sat down.
i explained truthfully because i lied to her about what really happened on the phone earlier.
To my amazement, she didnt scold me or hit me. she talk nicely. she gave me advices.
its like she treat me as a pupil to her councel. then i dont deny that i almost wanted to cry. almost. but yeah, i kept my tears in.
i could see clearly that she was disapointed by the actions i took. i regretted it. till now even when she has forgiven me, i cant accept the fact that im such a faggot. i japordized my parents trust. :(

i learnt something from my mother's words, she said this and i realy think whoever is reading this must take this words into consideration coz to me, it makes sense and this is what has always been happening in the human race.
she said "you can do a million good things in your life like what i've heard from your friends or teachers, but one mistake you foolishly make will be remembered by them for the rest of your life." so basically, she is trying to say that you will get praised for the good things you make and you'll be known for the good things you did but if you did one mistake, big mistake, it will be remembered by them forever. get it? its life. so yeah.

i realized how much my parents knows about the way teenagers feel and work. obviously all parents knows coz they've been there and done that.
but how much do they show to you guys? see.
what im trying to say is that, im really very grateful to have parents like mine. i wont trade them for anything. really!
although they can be the pain in the neck, they are the only ones who will stick with me til the end of time!
i love them more than i love myself. (only that i dont really show it) :p

that's all for today i guess.
ill post again tomorow.
i didnt want to post abut this topic alot but i got carried away.
so im sorry. the post i wanted to do is about a different topic.
so ill post tomoro.

goodnight! :D

2010-04-04T11:49:00.002+08:00

~starring at your gorgeous smile on your face
i fall silent and paralyzed of it
realizing the presence of the most beautiful love
when you hold me close
so many words left unspoken to you
i want you always to be there
and accompany me
in every steps that makes me believe
you're meant for me
for the rest of my life
though time will finally recall my flesh and blood
i want you to know that i always belong to you
who loves you~

~stitch

2010-04-03T19:39:00.002+08:00

Azirah, if you are reading this. i support you 20 000 percent! i agree with you. i read your blog. and i went smiling to myself. coz finally, i know someone feels the same way as i do! :D i am so happy. ahah ^^D

i am a very sensitive person. i wont lie about it. but the good thing is that, like azirah, i know how to control my emotions. i learn that its just too immature for us to show this sensitivity through their looks, tone of voice or even expression. yes, it hurts. but take it as it is. you wont feel criticized unless it is true about what they say about you. and when whatever they say is true, take it as a lesson and try to change instead of moaning about this critics! :D

2010-04-01T18:34:00.002+08:00

Stones, heavy like the love you've shown .
Solid as the ground we've known
And I just wanna carry on ,
We took it from the bottom up
And even in a desert storm.
Sturdy as a rock we hold .
Wishing every moment froze.
Now I just wanna let you know,
Earthquakes can't shake us .
Cyclones can't break us.
Hurricanes can't take away our love

Greeting earthlings! haha its been awhile. haha. oh well. exams around the corner, and i wont lie to you guys that i went off studying. i didnt. i tried but too much distraction. and usually those distractions are good distractions. so really cant help it. haha.

i find time to post something. actually i dont know what to post. really. weee! :D

well, recently, school abit boring uh but i like going coz i can go see ehem ehem! :D always makes me smile one. :D. my results really bad. :(. feel like crying! wekkkk!

k la i dont know what to post already!

:)

i love stitch! :D

2010-03-24T20:39:00.003+08:00

Someone ask me to define love.

all i had to say was Love is not a feeling. it's an ability.

you may have the feeling to love someone, but do you have the ability to love that person for a long period of time? if you have the ability to love, only then you feel love. :D

did i answer your question?

2010-03-20T13:33:00.002+08:00

Happy 16th Birthday To Hirzi Harris And Kartika Kaswadi!

Hirzi's birthday was on the 15 of march while Kartika's birthday is today!

Just want to tell you guys that i love you much much! so happy birthday once again and enjoy life! :D peace!

<3

2010-03-18T15:32:00.003+08:00

WAH! today very sian and tired.
going to put the blame on felicia! coz she's the reason i come school so early!
haha. cant tell you the reason. too private. between me and her only. hee.
then go eat breakfast. thank you felicia for belanja me. haha.

then went school at around 9.30. got maths. weee maths. i think im beginning to understand
the concept of that topic. but still struggling. but no worries, ill get it.

then went play soccer. then go home. its raining. and im cold now! :(

going out later to take my hp. dont ask. haha.

HOMEWORK! alot sia i owe! im gonna die when school reopens!
shit la. have to finish by sunday! can la! i think. hee. i really damn sian! haha

To kiki,
i really dont know where we are now. im not sure anymore.
it seems like we are living in two different world. i forgive you for the phone spoil
and what not. i already did. so i just hope we'll stay friends. :/

oh well, bye! <3

2010-03-15T17:43:00.002+08:00

I AM SO SICK RIGHT NOW!
Temperature reach around 39.7degrees celsius.
having cough, fever and flu. sigh. i dont like being sick.:(
especially now that i cant skip any lessons. every lesson is crucial. super crucial. :(
i hate this uh.

the one i expected to care for me, doesnt.
the one i dont cared for me. sigh. bullshit. but thanks anw to those who cared.
<3

2010-03-14T21:50:00.002+08:00

Thank You Maira for accompanying me just now to study.
appreciate it la babe. i was super bored at home and restless.
good thing you were around uh if not i will be so bored. haha.
thank you again. weeeeee.

holidays! here i not come! pfft! :/
im posting lesser now. coz looking at the results i get, haha, NO WAY im gonna slack. starting from now, study is in my head. so yeah. sorry if i dont reply any of your msgs or calls. ill try my best to be active in web. but no promises. so yeah. loves to all! <3
M.I.A I SHALL! haha

2010-03-13T20:34:00.002+08:00

RESULTS! i have nothing to say. happy? no. sad? also not really. im really like ugh.
fed up with it uh. expected better. but why till like this? :(.
i got distinction for unimportant subjects!
:( why uh? fyque, pls stop fooling around uh pls. you need to get your head straight and score!
you dont want to be embarrassed by your friends or make the ones who love you dissapointed right? why?! stop it! study la pls fyque! no more soccer, no mor composing songs no more anything! study is in your mine now. im so dissapointed with you fyque! i dont know what to say
to you anymore. what will it takes for you to realise that you need to start studying now!

i dont understand what you really want from me?
are you upset? are you mad? just what is it?
you dont even seem to miss me at all.
if you want to end this, just end it. :/

2010-03-10T18:31:00.003+08:00

Sports day was cancelled due to the rain.
haha, we slacked at macdonald first before going back school.
something tragic happened.
ika lost her wallet:( so sad.
suspected the mccafe girl. damn her.
hmm. sorry for the lost ika. :(
we stayed at school, bored sia.
i hate my results. seriously. i am slacking i think! and
i deserve this. i need to buck up. really. english i almost fail. omg. :(
sigh. i feel like crying. i need go out and study.:( i am going to take any
chances of remedial or any lessons during this march holiday.
need to!

2010-03-09T22:30:00.002+08:00

Hey! im not going to post much. im super lazy just want to update a few stuff.
TOMOROW going to have our official 2010 sports day! weee! haha. we, yellow house going to win 10x200 relay run for the fourth time this year! weeee! insyakallh. cannot be too confident liao., heee. i bought the yellow hair spray! wee. my hair is going to be fully yellowed. haha. weee.

anw, tomro girlf giong camp for 3 days! super bored la for three days. my handphone going to be .........! ergh! haha. but its an experience for her to go camp in johore. so i hope she'll be fine. take care of yourself dear. dont go wonder about without a partner. hee. and behave la please.:D muacks! love you. text me when you reach singapore tau. :D take care! i am so gonna miss you! :(

talking about misses. i really miss azirah azlan:(. hey you! read my blog la. than text me!!! i miss you laaaaa! long time never talk. alamak, i change my phone number la. how eh? nvm la, here's my number ; 96663484! text me! :D miss ya!

examz around the corner. amg, i think im slacking. haha. need go study with sulas. she just texted me, so i think we'll go study this saturday i think after my soccer clinic! :D lets go study sulas!!! :DD

i think that's all need rest coz tomoro sports day liao! :D

2010-03-03T19:41:00.002+08:00

Look At My Soccer Boys. haha. weee~! im bored. thanks to dylan. which is also
one of our soccer members. let me introduce them to you guys. from your right, we have our Striker, Joye Mikail.(he's halve french but speaks fluent malay).He's best ability is his positioning. he's everywhere and anyway. so he's quite a striker. haha. followed by me! i played as center defensive midfield. hee. not an easy job you guys.my best ability is probably, my passes, free kicks and shooting(not puji-ing myself. its just what i heard. :D. then followed by Firdaus on the far left. he's position is all over the place. haha. sometimes he plays right midfield and sometimes as striker. so yeah. he's a sprinter of our team. very fast! :D. then right under him, is Li zhe. our captain. he plays center Defender. he got height advantage la and he also good in defending. duh fyque. haha. k moving on, beside him is our left midfielder, haikal. he's speciality is from set pieces and crosses. he's awesome in that. haha. so there's the 4/2 soccer boys. hee. oh i forgot, our camera man, dylan ong. he's a striker too. he has talent but sometimes abit slow. ;P. good thing he do not know i have blog. haha. anw, he's best ability should be he's controlling the ball and he can take on players. i think. hee.haha. k enough talking. i need to meet the guys and study. no time for blog.

i love my girlf. and bi, post for meeee! :D haha.
love you all. :D

2010-03-01T19:41:00.004+08:00

This Is For Kiki!~ and others who are in love :D

sorry for the bad sound quality and my voice. haha actually, i was straining my voice. i cant reach this notes. haha. so im having a hard time singing. lol.:D

2010-03-01T19:05:00.003+08:00

ROAR! sorry have not update.:D
ask girlf to post for me. and girlf, dont lie about me telling you to go walk home k
and i didnt say you fat. bluek. haha. i didnt ditch you coz i want play soccer ok!
haha. penipu eh!

well, i think she'll be active here, i lazy la. got better things to do. haha.
k la, im off now :D

bye to readers! <3

and <3 girlf!

here, AGAIN! :DDDDDDD

2010-03-01T18:06:00.002+08:00

im back here again ;DDDD
currently got back home from Compass.
BAMM! im sweating like hell, Fikki told me to walk home ):
because he said i was fat. haha.
kay, will not talk about myself.
currently boyf is playing soccer. so jyeah, boys and soccer.
leave me alone ):
and he asked me to blog for him! because he`s one lazy pig.
Gahs :DDD
he had remedial just now which ended about five thirty.
maths remedial, i suppose.
im bored, im bored. haha. i know, its getting boring reading this right?
ohwells. till here then, hee!
iloveyou ;D

Sasakina Chendolly (:

2010-02-28T20:40:00.006+08:00

BAMM! :D
Sasakina here, gahs.
known as Kiki to FyQue.
unique right the name he calls me? Haha! ;D
oh, i call him Fikki. :D
im blogging for him right now, because he`s super lazy to.
and it sucks going to his dead blog. haha.
ytd he went to Vivo with friends, to watch Dear John.
pissed me off because i want to watch the show badly.
and he blamed me because he said he did asked me but he didint!
maybe he did but i cant remember. i suffer from stm u see.
haha. and one day, i`ll be asking him along to Iluma.
u guys should go to that place. watch a movie, its huge.
and nice, i swear, its nice.
Fikki, we should watch a movie there one day,
and right now, Fikki hurt his back.
because he went kendarat just now, and carried heavy stuffs.
tsk, take good care of yourself! and get well.
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
PS ; Kiki = Fikki`s girlfriend. Haha.
You know, i know (:

2010-02-24T14:45:00.002+08:00

Something funny happened today. haha. im still laughing till now.

Putri: eh fiq, kalau nk buat concession pass nk kene bawak ape uh?

Me: uh bring what sia?!

Putri: nk kene bawak documents-documents eh?

Me: *burst into laughter*

Muhaimin was beside me also laguh like hell uh.

Putri: Why you guys laugh?!!! must bring all those birth certificate all right???

Me: *Laughing so hard!*

at this point me and muhaimin was laughing like hell!!!!! hahahahahaha.

Putri: Why?! *started laughing*

Me: *laughing* yeah, you also must not forgot to bring your health booklet and psle cert! *laughing*

muhaimin was dying! hahahah.

Putri: *knows that i was sarcastic, laughed* bustard seh korang!! haha. min stop laughing la!

Me: *laughing* bawak duit ngan ez link kau je laaaaa! hahahaha.

Putri: aku tau la, but bapak aku kata kene bawak all the documents-documents to buy a concession pass. coz that time dier ikut adik aku go buat ezlink and must bring all that thing also. so he say must bring. LOL

Me and Min: *was still laughing*

haha. it was super funny uh. coz she said it with a serious look and like suddenly hahahahahhaha! cant blame her la, first time buy concession mah. haha. well, it made my day. so thank you Putri Qistina! i love you always! hahah.

anw, school have been boring for me. super boring. haha. every lesson is sleeping time for me. maybe its just me la coz i sleep late. but cant the teachers be more exciting. you want me to explain how? i cant. haha coz i cant think of any. and honestly, i try my very best to stay awake uh. and i really try my best to concentrate and listen to the teachers coz i know how it feels like when you're standing in front of a crowd and talking andthey are not listening to you. it is irritating! haha. i feel you teachers! haha. but seriously, be more fun can?! haha.

oh, and another thing. my phone is currently damaged. its rosak! bingit ke tk bingit?! haha. it sometimes can on, sometimes cannot. idiot sia. for now i cant on it. i dont know why! ergh! so anyone who is texting or calling me. ill reply those msgs as soon as possible and forgive me if i didnt reply. heee. love you all!

bye!

2010-02-20T16:49:00.003+08:00

One Word To Describe Me Right Now, STUPID FCKING IDIOT JERK BULLSHIT STUPID!!!!!!

ok i know its more than one word and i repeat stupid twice. but serious uh. i dont know why im like this. at home moody. at school also moody but quite ok la coz friends cheers me up. sumpah seh i dont know what the matter with me. what i really want. i kept asking myself, why am i like this? im not always like this. what could be the problem? what i feel now? *clueless*

my phone is fckng up now! i hate la! serious sia. feel like throwing this stupid phone out the window. and just now i almost shouted at this little boy who almost run over me with his bike. omg! what is wrong with me?! i realise im more impatient recently. and im becoming more short tempered. why? why? why?

i miss kiki alot. i miss the time we talk on the phone. i miss telling ridiculous stories. i miss your stories. i miss you when you were angry and telling me all about it. i miss the most was your laughter. i really miss those times. but probably, its not what it seems huh? you probably find someone better. hah. i sound so idiotic. but yeah. erghh. :(

officially, my life now just turn suckish! so thank you and goodbye. dont bother texting me or calling me. coz my phone is fckd up and probably its confiscated. so what the hell! screw me and my miserable shithole!

2010-02-19T20:13:00.002+08:00

Daddy text me:

Dad: Abang, your phone bill is $157. why so much?!
Fyque: Serious?! OMG? HEEE!

ok my bill is freaking high la. i would like to take this opportunity to blame Haikal and Firdaus because they have been using my phone to text people. haha. k cant put the blame on them all the time. ok, im partly to blame too. confirm phone kene confiscated. so if i got no phone, the only way to communicate with me is through the msn or facebook. im active there. so yeah. till here.

i dont really care if my phone kena confiscated because firstly, it officially sucks to the effing core. secondly, my phone speaker is damaged- cant here any music or video using loudspeaker but can hear through earpiece. fucked up. k. lastly, no one want to text me also. so i dont really need lor. hmm. oh well. goodbye phone!

2010-02-18T18:36:00.003+08:00

Today Super No mood sia! everything is wrong sia today. i had to act in front of friends that im ok. firstly, i had to use up my money to take the cab to school as the bus is being an asshole. after that, i fell in front of a lot of people. then my socks is black in colour. then remedial until 5.30. but luckily maths is cancelled so went home by 4.30. skipped art and go com lab. haaa.

then i think i fought with Kiki. i think its my fault. so im sorry kiki. i dont know uh. been moody this past few days. i know its wrong for me to get it out on you but i only thought i could let everything out to you. but i guess im wrong. so im sorry if im a jerk. its not your fault if you want to leave me. i deserved it.. sigh.

....

i dont want to talk anymore uh. i just cant find that right person to talk to. :( looks like no one can or wants to. hmm. goodbye.

2010-02-16T14:31:00.003+08:00

Semula Ku Tak Yakin
Kau Lakukan Ini Padaku
Meski Dihati Merasa
Kau Berubah Saat Kau Mengenal Dia

Bila Cinta Tak Lagi Untukku
Bila Hati Tak Lagi Padaku
Mengapa Harus Dia Yang Merebut Dirimu

Bila Aku Tak Baik Untukmu
Dan Bila Dia Bahagia Dirimu
Aku Kan Pergi Meski Hati Tak Akan Rela

Terkadang Ku Menyesal
Mengapa Ku Kenalkan Dia Padamu

2010-02-15T22:26:00.002+08:00

Here are some pictures from ECP! haha. had my Saturdays' and Sundays' There with family. although its kinda tiring, im just glad i could enjoy time with my family and relatives. i wont talk much abut what i do there. just want to mention i was there. heee. there are more photos but i lazy to upload. hee. so here goes. actually, these pictures were taken during our 3 hours hiking from Carpark G to Carpark C! we made pitstop for us to rest. then we decide to take picture first before we went off. sumpah, it was damn far! till now, i cant feel my legs properly. haha. sounds near from carpark g to c but trying is believing. haha. try it. and you guys know how it feels. :D.

oh yeah, the reason we went all the way there was because, we had to buy ibu panadol coz she not feeling well. and ended up only to get 4 pills. and when we return back, omg, mama had bought it already on the way there. wow! wasted three hours there for what?!!!! ergh. haha

Feat. Fyque, Siti And Ari :D

2010-02-12T23:27:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 16th BIRTHDAY TO SHERRY THE SMURF! may all your wishes come true. hope that you live your life to the the fullest and be strong in every situation imaginable. we can watch NC16 movies already! yay! haa. although it hard to know if you are actually 16th, still you have your ez link card or ic to prove it. hahahahah. im such an ass. anw, happy birthday again. and love you and miss you. xoxo :D

2010-02-11T20:07:00.002+08:00

Happy Birthday To Myself and Adira.

yay! i'm Sixteen! thank god! haha. NC16 Here i come! haha.

today at school was good. almost everyone wished me happy birthday then i got present from Putri Bestie. she got me a transformer pencil case and a skipping rope. haha. thank god uh. skipping rope is what i wanted and i would prefer the a batman type bag but transformer is fine. haha. thanks qis! love you loads.

mummy wished me birthday first. early in the morning she already went to the couch and kissed me on the cheeks. haha. then she wishes me. haha. aww. friends and family and fellow relatives also wishes me. so sweet. haha.

anw, uncle ask me what i want for my birthday. i want need a new phone. but he suggested a new soccer boot. think back, i also need the new boot. how eh? haha. both uh paman! hahah. heeee. oh well. see how uh. probably i want a new phone. coz my phone sucks. heee.

tomorow is Sherry Birthday followed by Alyssa and Mikail's. wishing in advanced a Happy 16th Birthday to all! weeee can watch NC16 movie liao! ^^p

Azirah forgot my birthday. so sad seh :(. haha tk la joking. i understand perfectly that she's busy. and i dont blame her for forgetting the most important day of every 16th years old teenagers. hahah. not helping right? i know im bad. heeee. i miss you lor.

Sulastri, if you reading this, I MISS YOU LA BODOH! haha. meet up soon kkkkkk?????? study or something. :D

2010-02-10T18:38:00.003+08:00

History repeats itself.

you ever felt that you love someone but never get thier love back in return? you feel the world crashing down on you and still wonders if there's hope for you to be with them? and every day you have thoughts of whether they think of you coz you are thinking of them? you started to fantasize about what its like if both of you were together and live a happy ending? and when all those hopes were high, you just felt that they are not feeling the same? one-sided love?

recently, in school, in malay class. we've been studying about teenagers love. and all i can think about was this girl. ehem ehem. bluek. haha. i bet most of you guys knows. whatever. anw, in class, we studied about love thingy and during teens is discouraged to be in love. wait. not discouraged la. probably, wary of the consequences and the impact falling in love when you're not ready during teenagers. well, some of you probably says that you guys are ready for this love thingy. but when i think about it. how many relationships lasted? not many. some only, and that also depends on each individuals.

im in love. i confessed. but im not sure im ready to be committed yet. and i know she's not. we talked about it. both of us needs time to adjust ourselves before we get into serious relationship. although she's younger than me, i find her equally matured. at least mature enough for my liking. haha. i love her yes. she loves me, she said she does. but still, anything can change right? so im not going to put up high hopes on this issue and probably keep my relationship with her to the next level but not to the extend that she might think im desperate.

Speaking of desperate. i dont know what is desperate in malay. haha. and just now i was doing my malay letter and i wanted to use the word desperate and i was stuck for 15 minutes. stared blankly at my fulscap. wth.

as i was saying, love can be hard to handle. but seriously, it could be simpler if both party could understand each other. i learnt that love is friendship. without friendship, you cannot be in love. friendship is the key of your developement of love starts to grow. i dont know, this is what i heard when i was in the malay class. haha. anw, is it true? you decide. coz i think its true. before loving somebody, friendship is the best way to start. after that if there's the connection, there's love. its kinda true. :D

P.S I dont believe in love at first sight. hee.

2010-02-07T19:25:00.002+08:00

I would like to personaly apologise to my bestfriend whom i think hates me right now. her name is Azirah Azlan. i had done something stupid earlier and probably hurt her feelings. i wont ask much for her but only for her acceptance to this apology. i know i did something wrong and yes, i should put myself in your shoes. you are probably right. i dont knw how you feel and such. but whatever it is, im in the wrong and im sorry. ive explain what and how i feel in the text msgs i gave you. but i guess you wont even care anymore. im sorry. i wont ask you to come back to my life or what sort just for your forgiveness. so if you are reading this, pls accept my apology. that's all i want from you. hmm. and know that i love you and miss you alot.

2010-01-31T11:14:00.006+08:00

My Siblings~ ^^)

2010-01-31T01:17:00.004+08:00

Hey! i had my family photo early in the morning at studio at clark quey. best dohhh! a great experience. we got free makeover uh! haha. you have no idea how hot we all look. haha. best uh. then we went inside a room. then got this profesional photographer with us to take our picture. and like he is an expert uh. he knows which is the best position for us. omg! lawa gile. sumpah! haha. we all pose like models uh. my best pic was the one which i stand up, body slanted and hands inside my pocket and like i look away from the camera. and my facial impresion had to be somehow 'natural yet cool' look. and the photographer said that our family were born talented models. haha. that part we all laugh hard coz we know the company wanted money. haha. a great2 experience. should try. the shop name and company is called " SNAPZ" yeah. check it out. :D

after that went to get my bursery award. im the only dude out there without school uniform coz i went straight from the photoshoot. damn it. haha. oh well, luckily i no need go up the stage and take the prize. obviously, we were late and the lady who works there; the lady who takes her job too seriously, stopped my dad from registering my name and told him to get it after the event. well lucky for me i no need to shake hand and go up the stage. unlucky for my dad coz he wants to pass big motion. lol. wth fyque. but its true fools! haha. so yeah.

then after that, went out with min, zi, zi brother and afiq. went to cineleisure but went back to causeway since zi's mother went to book ticket late, so had to go causeway. otw there, took zi's dad car and it was OH TO THE MY TO THE GOD! i dont know what worst, to ride a roller coaster without safety buckle or ride in a car with zi's father who drive like a F1 racer. honestly, i could phave peed myself. he went soooooo fast. omg. the whole journey i was like kept saying in my mind," bismillah, please dont crash!!!" haha. yeah i said that. i was scared! sumpah!

after that went to watch movie btw at causeway. the movie is i dont have any idea what the hell is the title but the show was good but complicated. i dont know what's the moral of the story. haha. oh well, after that, went to eat at kfc and went back.

i miss azirah alottt.:(( its been awhile since we contacted. but what can i do right? she got her life. a busy life. cant help it. haiyayayaya. =/

what a day! tired like hell! now i watching soccer! CHELSEA VS BURNLEY! heee. CHELSEA FOR THE WIN!!!!!!! :D

bye losers! :S

2010-01-27T22:56:00.002+08:00

IM GETTING BLAME FOR NOT GOING FOR THE MATCH. NICE

why when the rest injured or sick, they all relax only? not getting too upset. and when, im the one who is injured-fractured wrist, im getting blame for making my "team" lose the match. why is this happening right now? next time, if i sick or injured ill just fucking go to the so called important match and training and you know, just listen to what ever fucking things that fucking coach or any of you say. and if that dont make you guys fucking happy, im out! fucked up sia!

2010-01-23T23:19:00.002+08:00

How are you going to tell a friend that the one they admiring is not right for them? How do you do that? i mean honestly. hmm. on one hand, you would never want to hurt a friend's feelings and on the other, you scared that the friend would be heart broken. i mean what do you do?! sigh! and what sucks the most is that the girl or guy that a friend is admiring has done a lot of bad stuff in the past and still is able to make that friend like her/him. that sucks. i really hope that the friend could see her true colours and dont give hope on her/him. coz honestly, in my opinion, you are just her or his spare tyre and once she or he finds another guy, she'll/he'll leave you. just wake up and see alright.

2010-01-23T09:13:00.003+08:00

What Hurts The Most

I know how it feels like when your love is one sided. trust me i know how it feels. ive been there and done that alot. its not as sweet as it seems. ive been hurt almost all the time and i always said to myself to get away from all this relationships. but why do love comes my way again and again and again? its just going to be another one sided love. i dont want it. not now. for those who felt the way as i do, honestly, you're not alone.

2010-01-20T21:47:00.002+08:00

This Post is soo random k.

i want to stretch on rudeness. :).. i realise alot of young teens especially those who are 13 or 14 years of age to be usually rude towards those who are older than them. i dont know why or when but recently, yes! i do feel that those teens who are rude to those older should be punished or at least change thier attitude. i give an example. that day, i was on my way to the canteen, then this 13 or 14 year old boy was running and accidentally pushed me. and to my surprise, i was the one who said sorry. he didnt say sorry to at all. what he says was this " ei! watch where you going uh." i was fed up and i shouted at him, "was it me or you who run and hit me sial?!" then he kept quite and went off. fierce right i? hahahha. but actually, i wasnt really going to do anyhting to him, i just stepping only. imagine if i were to use physical force on him. OMG! it will be chaos. for him, coz he'll be lying motionless on the floor after i give him my powerful right hand punch. (fyque step je. jgn percaya kata2 manis die ni! haha) . and it would be chaos for me, coz i have high expectation of disciplinary and conduct in the school. and most teachers know me as a good conduct pupil and im the monitor some more. what would my fans think of me? hahahahhahha. diam la fyque. mepek doh kau! haha.

so anyway, yeah. i felt that teens nowadays have no respect someone older than them. what's your problem man? i mean i do respect others.i know i can sometimes be rude too but i know when to stop sia. not like some people who think, they are soo damn big. especially those who goes around in groups and think the world belong to them. MF! cannot take it sia. i mean, honestly, if those gangs are man enough, they can handle that someone who makes problem to them alone. why need others to help? this is what i called, GAAAAAAYNESS! haha.

oh yeah about soccer. oh my god. we've been all about soccer from yesterday man. and yesterday had match against serangoon secondary. well, we lost by a goal down. pfft. lucky. anw, yeah, alot of contraversy in the game. partly our fault and seragoons fault too. but its a friendly game. so some of their players are quite calm and try to resolve the situation. well, in my case, im the only one who dares to resolve those types of problems. but overall, enjoyed the game. :)
so yeah. just now had training. omg! tired la. then tomorow have another match against clementi woods. haiya. then on friday and saturday training again! omg. can die or what?! my back still hurts and my left knee is making it worst. sigh. not sure if i can play tomoro or not. but do i have a choice? most of the 1st eleven midfielders is gone. either injured or sick. sigh. left me and haikal only. tired sia. oh well. bare with it i guess.

k la, i talk alot uh. i still have not done my homework. going to do it now.

but lastly,

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TO HAIKALbesty AND PUTRIbesty!
love you guys and live your life to the fullest!:D

goodbye!^^

2010-01-17T16:16:00.003+08:00

BUKAN CINTA BIASA
hello! hee. long time no post? yeah, ive been busy lately. with school and sleeping. haha. i wont talk about what happened each day from the last i posted. haha but.... actually i dont know what i want to post. im bored. hmmm.

maybe i start off by talking about yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO NADHRA! hee. my anak sedara. she's a year old. i think. haha. we had her birthday party at chalet near downtown east. haha. it was fine. but my family arrived late. haha. we usually the first to come if an event like this happens. but dont know why we were late. haha. then we meet other relatives. then we karaoke. i bought my guitaR. then abang khai play alot of songs and we all sing. haha. abang fad was funny seh. he dance la. do techtonik dance. lol. very the funny. cannot take it. wow, i really need to start practising my guitar skills. i suck sia. haha. long time havent been playing the guitar. and i play abit kaku. seesh. but overall, yesterday was fun.

hmm. im gonna be bored for quite awhile coz Kiki prepaid gonna die and like i got no one who can entertain me like she does. hmm. who eh? sigh. none. everybody busy with thier own stuff. cant blame them anyway. hmm.

what else eh i want to post about?

ouh yeah, soccer tournament starting very the soon. and shit holes, all sec 4 who is in soccer have to miss camp!! wtf! coz tounaments already going to start on the day of our camp. we have sec 4 camp, coz last year, due to h1n1, sec3 camp was postponed. sigh. damn it la.

anw, you guys watch american idol? Super funny sia! and also got Super talented! heee! already audition is funny. i bet if ellen degeneres is there, its gonna be super super funny to the core! hahahh. shiok habis la kan! ouh well, this is a must watch season. haha.

k la, ill post another time aight?! i want to say i miss a few people. but they wont care anyway. haha. so what for right. ;/.. bye la.

2010-01-09T23:21:00.002+08:00

i told you i wont be posting often right? haha. i kinda lied? haha. maybe i wont but maybe i will. totally depends on my mood. heeee.

I am totally pissed off with mat reps nowadays. i dont know why. probably because i was beaten up by them the other time. shitholes! and just now i saw them near my block. felt like charging at them and beat the crap out of them. but im out numbered and too many witnesses. damn it. in case, you guys didnt know what happened to me. i was beaten up by mat reps about a week and few days ago. coz that time, i still have my hair dyed. and like. i was walking home when i notice that im going to pass by 3 mat reps and a minah rep sitting near my block. and i think to myself, should i walk pass them or should i go the long way. and my instinct tells me to walk the long way. but im to lazy. so since im almost to my home, why not just walk pass them. what can they do right? so i walked pass uh. then one of them like calling me but sort of an irritating and rude way. he said this. "eh eh" so i ignored. but then the other said, "oi tk dengar per?" some sort like that la. im having a fade memory about what they were saying actually. anw, there were that word that made me turned around uh. but i forgot what was it. but i turned around and confront them. i asked them if i did anything to disturb them or not. then they stood up and walked towards me with their air-headed caps! to be honest, i was afraid. no kidding. i was alone and there were 3 of them. haha. but i stood my ground. but eventually, they pushed me down and blow several punches and kicks. but only for a few seconds then they ran off when they heard someone was coming. here's the funny part, i get up, feeling not that severe pain only my lips were busted, nose bleed and sore eyes. haha. i stood up, look at where they were running and shouted, "KEDI!" haha. it means, like coward. haha. so yeah. then just now i saw them again. wah, in my heart uh, i felt like giving them a piece of my mind. but i know if i do that kind of stuff, im just as bad as they are. and im not a mat rep. so sape2 baca and terasa, gi mams eh. trima kasih!

I text Azirah today. hee. i cant help it. almost a week without texting her felt like this, :(. haha but im glad she misses me too. hmm, just thought she could text me everyday, but i know she's gonna be busy. so yeah. bare with it i guess.

im talking to Anna now. she's alone haha. want to scare her but she seems to be really afraid! KEDI! hahahhahahahahha.

Im thinking of what to buy for Putribesty her birthday present. and haikals'. heee. what to buy what to buy?! help!:)

2010-01-07T17:12:00.004+08:00

hey People!

as you all know, school starts monday. and school has been ok since we are going to be 16 soon or for some already been legally 16. haha so yeah. new teachers and some new teachers. same class. same duty. OMG! i was elected to be the monitor again! 3 years! WOW! suspect next also i be monitor siaaaaa. wth. haha. i mean im flattered and all but maybe give me a break? lol.. oh well. anw, ika was also elected to be the monitress. taking over putri's place. i felt awkward at first coz its my first time partner with her but i think she's fine. i mean, she's always on task. so i think its fine. haha.

so far school is fine. i dont want to elaborate for each of the days i had in school. so i just gonna post this only uh. i mean, what else you wanna know? haha. as if you guys going to care about what i do in school like that. unless its awesome thing or interesting uh. haha.

oh yeah, just to inform you guys. i wont be posting much coz since its N level, i think i should concentrate more on school. ill post, but not often. :D

ive been working out lately. carrying weights and running almost every single day in the gym at school. wow, its been awhile since i work out and my body is sooooooo sore right now. i cant even let anyone punch or tap my body coz ill feel the ache. like literally. hah.

kla, this is gonna be my last post after awhile. heeee. so. goodbye blog. love you all who reads my blog.:D muah!:)

2010-01-03T23:27:00.004+08:00

Its 11.25pm exactly. i should be sleeping but im not. blueak! i dont know i kept staying awake so i want to post something. k wait, actually im panicking to be honest. firstly is because i still yet to buy my school books which is like 4 books only in total. im gonna get screwed. ok then. i cant find any school socks. and this kept me thinking, do my things always gets lost whener my family cleans up the house or is it just me? haha. oh wel. wth. then what makes me more woried is that i cant find my Uniform siaaaaaaaa! where in the bloody hell did i put them? i could not have lost it coz i saw it few days ago. and i dumped it in my other clothings in my drawer and *poof*, it magically dissapeared. woohooo! how awesome is that?! the awesomiest! damn it. i contact min and ask him if he have any uniform he could lend me for tomorow only. and he'll search for it and get back to me. but guess what? he's not contacting me back. OMG! im panicking. lets panic together shall we? haha. ok sorry, im panic, that's why. oh well, lets hope min has it coz i dont have plan B!

anyway, i want to confront someone about this. a friend of mine, Adi. (not he's real name) haha step mcm surat khabar lak aku nie. k la, he's name is Adi. he suspected that his gf is playing timer with him. and his gf happens to be someone i know. i confront that girl nicely. but you know what she did? she ticked me off. you guys know i cant get ticked off harshly. ok usually i be calm but she kepts swearing at my family and stuff. HOLD UP! SHE DID NOT JUST DID WHAT SHE JUST DID! NUH UH! SHE AINT TALKING BOUT' MY FAMILY LIKE THAT. NO WAY HOSEY! so at first, i was puzzled then it gets personal. so i swear at her back. but i didnt swear her family coz her family had nothing to do with this. and the same goes to my family. so i asked her angrily, "what in the hell did my family ever do to you?!" and she was all shut the hell up attitude with me. i aint gonna take no shit from her. so i ticked her off back. we went on quarrelling first by text than i called her. then we three way with Adi. and Adi was also angry with her coz she swears at my family. so its like 2 v 1 uh. battle of the sexes. omg i honestly can like ERGH! kill her man. her mouth i staple it tightly and tape it with a masking tape and cut it and sell it. haha. ok lame. but seriously. i could kill her! i dont know what's her problem sia. why uh, nowadays teens uh, like this one uh. CUCKOOO! damn it. she hung up when she finally says criticize Adi and me. then adi apologise and hang up. omg, what the hell is her problem. i think that she felt guilty and want to cover up or just plain crazy. oh well, F HER! haha. sigh.

BUDAK BUDAK K-14 ZAMAN SKRG! -_-

well whatevr la kan. anw, tomorow starts a new year, so a new resolution have to be made! i thinkkkkkkk i want to do well in N-level and go to O-level! haha. DUH FYQUE! anw, i dont think, i want to! hee. oh well, its up to me what? kan kan kan? k la. i want to inform al readers that i wont be able to post as much as i want to because of some particular reasons. my sis laptop will be sent for service soon, im busy studying and i dont think im free for posting. but ill try k?

I cant wait to meet my friends:D

teachers not so much only mrs.liew. haha

buybye!

2010-01-02T21:34:00.003+08:00

LAWAKAN MATAIR AKU!!!??

today was tiring coz i had to clean up the house since uncle and grandma is staying with house from this tuesday onwards. its tiring and also tiring coz i kept sneezing la. very irritating sia! :(. now im having very bad bad bad sore throat and flu. GREAT! what a start for 2010. so much for wishing a good year it would be. haha. anw, school is going to start soon. actually very very very soon. like in 2 days time. haha. less than 48 hours. haha. and im sick. oh god please let me be well before school. hmm. insyakallah.

i dont really know what to post about. haha. honestly im not in the mood to talk about anything right now. probably ill talk about this next song im going to compose. this song is actually funny and romantic i guess. haha.

this song is actually happened to me before. it happened few weeks ago. or was it a week ago? dont know la. but its been awhile. im supposed to make a song about it but i forgot about it as i was concentrating on the 1st 3 songs i made. haha. so yeah. this was what happened. i was going back from grandma's house. and decide to take the mrt. and in the mrt i saw this girl uh. she's surprisingly cute and alone. BINGO! haha. tkda la. gatal sak fyque. ^^. so we were like facing each other leaning against the wall near the entrance of the door. you guys know where right? so being a male human being, my eyes were glazing at her la.obviously. but i swear i tried to look away but i also noticed that she was looking at me. but im not sure through attraction or she wants to know if im looking at her or not la. but whatevr it is, i got her attention. so i looked at her while she's not looking and turn away when she does. haha. but the funny thing was that i wasnt looking the best i should uh. i was wearing shorts and a nike shirt. and flip flops. and i look like someone whos homeless. haha. while she was wearing jeans and womens long sleeve. she was wearing casual but still look good uh. then the trained stop and board off.

so what im trying to tell in this next song is that im going to tell the story in the 2 versus then in the chorus im going to tell how i feel when im there and looking at her and the bridge im going to tell about how it would be great to have known her and will i ever be able to meet her again. haha. its kinda like a love song and stuff. but im trying to make this a very jason mraz type of song. fast but still romantic at the same time. haha. ill try coz recently i have no idea to make the song. only the lyrics but the music is still ???? hahaha. :)

so yeah, i think thats all laa kan. haha till i post again. hahahah.:D

2009-12-31T22:35:00.003+08:00

today was fun. went to lot 1 early in the morning with min. haha. were suppose to go school to buy my school books which i have still yet to buy any. haha. awesome right? nehmind, going to be 16 soon what? rebel uh abit. cheh cam paham. anw, yeah then realise that yesterday was the last day. how annoying is that? haha. so we went to lot 1 at around 10+ to go to popular. and we were like idiots who as though never been to lot 1 before which in fact we live near chua chu kang and spents most of our time at lot, didnt know that all shops would only be open at 11am. and we were like walking around minding our own business. idiot sia. haha. we waited till 11am and when its open, my fickled minded decides to buy the books at school when school starts. pfft. ^^then we actually went back home. i went home to eat. then me and min went back to lot one at around 12. haha. min need to meet his mum to buy his school shoes. -_-! haha.

After that, we decide to watch AVATAR doh! it was AAAAAAAAwesome! worth watching. i watch with min, hirzi, maira and her sister. haha. OH YEAH! omg! i cant believe we spent $70 on the movie uh. each tickets cost $14 and like omg! the fcukk! wth? you know i was like totally STUNNED! i wanted to cry sia. but we bought it anyway coz the line behind us was extremely long. and like we dont want to keep them waiting. but i tell you, its worth watching. watch avatar people! haha.

i was suppose to follow hirzi and his family to watch the fire works then after that go bowling till 5am! :( but my dad didnt allow me. wth. i want sia. haha. although i had experience that it's going to be helllllllllllll. muahahha. but its just watching fireworks. not like last time. hmm. but i actually also lazy coz like its going to be so late and not really my thang. haha. oh well, probably next time i guess. hmm. but min get to follow sia. his mum is awesome! haha. but i think also spoiling min at the same time. but min looks fine i guess. hahahahaha.

DAMN IT! the reason i want to post this was for a reason but i forget everything that i want to put in here. hahaha. urghhh.

well, ill post again later if i can recover what i was going to post about. haha. anw,
HAPPY TO THE NEW YEAR TO ALL HUMAN BEINGS!

2009-12-30T20:41:00.002+08:00

I was Caught while on my way to Qastam Singapore. HAHA. stupid sia. the officers thought i brought some illegal devices when actually it was my MP3. wth? haha. IDIOT! then when he was "Integerroting" me, he was all shouting and shit. and i was like -_-! its my mp3 player you idiot. although i didnt say it out loud, i was thinking bout it in my head. after he checked my mp3, he realise it was an ordinary one and gave it back to me. then he started to give me this Advices and being all nice to me.. he said " its not that im mad at you, im just doing this to be safe. safe than sorry. we dont want our country to explode and you getting the blame do we? and next time make sure you put everything in the sensor so we wont suspect anything. ok boy?" and i went "yeah boss, sure! -_-! IDIOT SIA!! but its a good thing i acted cool although i almost peed in my pants. haha. its true, you have to act cool when you are facing a good cop bad cop. hahahah. oh well, its an experience. haha.

2009-12-30T14:21:00.002+08:00

LOOK AT WHAT I BOUGHT IN MALAYSIA! :) NICE HUH!? hahahaha.

I wont say any thing much. but pictures at facebook.:D so urm, yeah. i had fun in malaysia yo! best. haha. watch alvin and the chipmunks 2 since ANNA cannot make it tomorow. pantat. i want to belanja also cannot. haha. too bad kan anna? looks like im eating SAKURA alone laaa.:D

anw, i miss my friends and cant wait for school. speaking for school, i still have not bought my school books. haha. awesome huh? oh well. later la i buy or tomorow or last day of school holidays kan? hahahahaha.

i miss ANNA siaa. well i say i miss her pun because she say she miss me. muahahahah. ishk ada ke gitu? tk la, i miss her la coz she layan my merepekness. hahahahah. :)

1 more thing, i need to buy a longboard. my dad say after we have move in to our new house, then he'll get the money and buy me a longboard and my bro a skate board. haha:D awesome huh? oh well, hope so! :D

nothing to say laa. post you guys later.:D

2009-12-28T00:12:00.003+08:00

(verse 1)
for every lie there comes the truth
for all the things you said, we thought came true, oh.
from raining tears comes all those joys
ready and set but still we never came close. huu o'oh. hmm

(Verse 2)
Something somewhere makes me realise
That sometimes love can be unsatisfied, to get by oh.
knowing now that you're a fake
i've been fooled by you in so many ways. ouhhhhhh..

(bridge 2)
but why now?
why now you try to make me feel goodmaking me cool, wanna gettin me fooled
baby how now?
how you gonna make things right after all you've done to me
(Chorus)
i care.....
everytime you feeling down
i know....
how it feels deep down inside
but why you gotta took it for granted.
now i realise you're not the one.. ohhhhhooooo yeah.

This Is An Original song of mine. its my new single. haha. cheh step artist lak. but seriously, its an original. i made this song few days ago. this is actually my 3rd successful song. haha. let me elaborate on this song. this song actually have something to do with all teens everyday life. and coincidentally this songs have something to do with a friend of mine. so im kinda writing this song on he's behalf.. this story is about a guy have that much feelings for that girl and after all he sacrifices for her, she took him for granted. basically, the guy felt unappreciated by her. and he regrets ever knowing her coz he spent his time for her and gets nothing in return. so yeah, its about love that is one-sided. i know its not really that a wow song. but its the best yet ive done. haha. :)

ill make a cover for this soon. so yeah check me out on blog, facebook or tagged. :D
take care.

2009-12-27T15:21:00.002+08:00

An Epic Longboard. ive fallen for them. haha. seriously. i need to get one of those. i was at changi since yesterday, celebrating my niece birthday party. and my cousin brought along his longboard. and i realise that im actually quite good at it. its like skate boarding but much more balance. and i did nothing else but to skate the long board. its awesome. my cousin said that the cheapest longboard cost $200+. 0_0!
are you serious? damn it. haha. where can i get those money? damn it. hah. nehmind i try to ask daddy for it. cheh. :D. maybe i use my bursery money. i got $350 doh. aha but not now uh. early january uh. haha. just pray hard.

anw, i still have not bought my school books sia. like wtf. haha. hmm. oh yeah, i met my chinese girls class mate and they wanted me to stay as monitor for next year. haha. im flattered and all but sometimes i felt like giving up with my class. coz honestly, they have a hard time listening. and i hate it when they dont listen coz to me, listening is the easiest thing you can ever do. but i dont know la. haha. see how uh. if i become the monitor for next year, it would be the third time in a row now. hahahah.,:D

recently, ive been really, really tired. damn it. i cant take it uh. i dont know what i do that made me feel so tired. haha. maybe its because i did nothing that i feel tired. haha. oh well. oh yeah, my back hurts uh. unusual sia. seriously. even when i sit, lie down or stand up. there's a different feeling of pian in different position. hmm. omg! ><. oh well, bear with it mannnnn!

kla, lazy uh. post soon. :D

2009-12-26T12:31:00.002+08:00

SING ALONG PLEASE,

Ku menatap dalam kelam
Tiada yang bisa ku lihat
Selain hanya nama-Mu ya Allah

Esok ataukah nanti
Ampuni semua salahku
Lindungi aku dari segala fitnah

Kau tempatku meminta
Kau beriku bahagia
Jadikan aku selamanya
Hamba-Mu yang slalu bertakwa

Ampuniku ya Allah
Yang sering melupakan-Mu
Saat Kau limpahkan karunia-Mu
Dalam sunyi aku bersujud

this song reminds me of old times when im a bit out of the world. :/ . i regreted it and i try to stay out of trouble. so far so good uh. im proud of myself. haha. i do know that i did alot of things that are not suppose to be done and im sorry about that. those were the days that i totally forgotten about the one person who loves me and i love him and that is Allah. Im really sorry for whatever things ive done earlier. :( i regretted it.

2009-12-24T22:48:00.002+08:00

MY KAKI GEREK ><

honestly, i really dont know what ill do without them. they are my ears, my eyes, my mouth, my heart, my soul, my life. i would never ever replace them for anyone else. they are the only ones who love me no matter what i do. they show that they love me. and i appreciate it. and i love you guys too. :D

i dont know uh. i'm feeling empty recently. i dont know la. recently, im having people saying things they never mean. they make me feel so much for them but then realise im just their back up thingy. honestly, i feel like they using me. like they will find me and asking for advised and stuff. i mean, its not wrong. but the least you guys can show me is appreciation. dont leave me hanging in the dark. i dont know la. and sometimes, only when i ask or look for them then they'll start looking for me. why cant they automatic like come and look for me? i dont really ask for anything. but what i really want is to be a friend. that's all. yeah you guys claim im your friend, but honestly, i dont feel it. sigh. you know what forget it. maybe its just me. maybe its my life and to be treated this way. have to accept it. :/

fyque:kiki! hello!

kiki: eh HI! lama tk bbl!

fyque: tu uh, you uh sombong.

kiki: ishk, mana ada? haha

fyque: haha. tkda la. so tgah buat ape?

kiki:tgah chatting, friendstering, tagging and bloghopping:D u?

fyque: tgah dengar lagu je:D! dah makan?

kiki: im also eating. makanan pat depan mata. :D malas nk gi dapur!

fyque: ahahahah. good!:D

kiki: good? why?

fyque: coz im also lazy. muahahhaha

kiki: you are lazy to talk to me? THEN DONT TALK TO ME LA!

fyque: urm, huh? what were we talking about? haha

kiki: you know what! shut up! i hate you!

fyque: huh? what are you talking about????? tk faham laaa.

kiki: shut up! bye!

do you understand this conversation? i dont myself. Kiki is a girl. coz my brother's nickname is also kiki. but this kiki is diff. anw, i dont understand what's going on sia. i was really like dumbfounded uh. like what in the hell is the matter with you? what the hell did i say? does asking whether you have eaten or not an insult to you? OMG. i dont understand sia. and she said im her "true friend." HAHA that's a total BULLSHIT! wtf. i dont understand la girls nowadays. seriously. DAMN IT. F this!

2009-12-24T01:27:00.001+08:00

THIS GUY LEFT ME SPEECHLESS! I WAS HAVING 2ND THOUGHTS OF KILLING MYSELF FROM THE FIRST VIDEO I POSTED BUT NOW, I JUST WANT TO DIE.

2009-12-24T00:15:00.004+08:00

i dont know which ones worst, he's singing vocal or his face getting smashed when i meet him. henestly omg! he is god damn irritating uh. dude, i know you wanna be a singer and all but just one advise, DONT BE A SINGER! no seriously. haha. but maybe he is brave to put this up. hahah. OMG LAAAAA. cannot take it sia. the more i see him singing, the more i feel like flying to wherever he is and give him a piece of my mind. i dont know whether he's faking this, trying to make it a funny thing or just cant sing. omg worst than TOMOK SIA when he was younger. lol. no offence tomok, your voice now is awesome! more manly. haha tk sengau. muahahahahhaa.

anw, i know i said ill post the pictures from outing but guess what?! im too lazy to do it. muahaha. sorry la, i dont want to post any pictures coz i dont have any pictures with me in it. hahahahahha. maybe when i take pictures that has me in it, then i post k? haha ada gitu fyque?! wtf. oh well, shut it!~ i dont care.

tomorow's plan was to go to soccer despite my stupid back pain. then go to li zhe's house to finish the trips project. actually to start not to finish. haha coz we havent even start. lol. oh well, screw that. then going back to nenek house. help her clean up coz she's moving in with us. :) yeah. that's the plan. but my plan dont always goes to plan coz sometimes it backfired. but we'll see how k? haha.

i want talk much now. im needa go sleep coz tomoro long day. :D

good morning.:D

2009-12-22T23:23:00.004+08:00

today outing with clique was the bom.

Fyque, Min, Zi, Qis, Syrf and Sulas.

first we went to marina square to eat at the food court. i didnt eat though. coz i was like no money haha. then after that, we went to bowling. hahah. awesome coz i won. i dont understand myself coz i last time suck at it. and now im kinda good at it. its not a consistent thing for me. haha. i dont know laaaaa. anw, i was leading all the way. ahah. putri was close to me but i still won. heee. best doh. the rest like cant play uh but we had alot of laughters. it was awesome. then we all the way to esplanade there. we then sit down and lepaks. then we do this white balloon and write down our wishes. haha., awesome. i got pictures but ill upload soon k? lazy laaa.

then we took bus 190 and went to dohby ghaut green. got Viva Music uh. where all our singapore local artist is there. it was free so we thought why not we watch the show uh. best seh. almost all there were like crazy over Sleeq. oh yeah. there were also hyrul anuar, maya rahman, rancour, hazrul nizam and eve. alot more but forget who coz we left after sleeq uh. coz the reason we go there also just to watch sleeq. best! haha. 2nd time meting sleeq! weeee. the first time was at ECP. that time i was in the 7 eleven near KFC then they were just outside the door of 7 eleven. cool right?! hahahaha. best doh. so yheah. after that we went back home.

haha. anna wants me to sing for her but i ask her to sing for me first then i sing for her.. haha i very bad right? oh well tooooo bad lor.. she have sore throat and fever and i also ask her to sing. hahaha. jangan marah ye.? XP

k la, im dead tired. ill post tomorow if i want. hee.:D

goodbye readers. and ill post pictures tomoro too.

2009-12-21T22:21:00.003+08:00

Hello readers! heee.

today was tiring la kan. at around 4pm. i went to hirzi house. there was hirzi and muhaimin there. awesome. met them first. i was bored at home so i went there to just lepaks with them. hee. then got a call from min mums to go eat. then i was also invited uh. so we went to lot 1 and meet min's mum and brother. too bad hirzi cant follow. haha. he got NGAJI. haha. oh well, too bad laa. then we eat at food culture. then min ask me to help him carry things at his cousins place to his place. haha. then i agree uh. no prolem. see, i so kind. anw, i also ask haikal to join uh. he did help us then he had to went off coz his gf was sick. so he went off early. then we carry the things to a lorry then went off. after all that. it was already like 8.30pm? then went to lot 1 again. me, min, his mum and brother. we walking walking. then go mcdonald to buy drinks. haha. after all the work uh very thirsty liao. haha. then we all walk home. heee. min's mum very niceeee.:D now i have like 2 mak angkats. haha. lol. best2.

tomorow going bowling with cliques. yay! urm then maybe go meet Sleeq at Dhoby Ghaut. not sure la. qis got her plans and sulas got her plan. dont know laaa. i just follow k? hahah. hmm, the only problem is, i dont have cash liao. bingit dohhh. haha
oh well, need to plead for money from dad. wow, its going to be a hard oneeee..

i havent buy school books sia! haha. i dont know when to buy seh. very stress you knoww. haiyayayyaya. i want to study also no books, no use la. havent start study seh. very worried. but no matter, ill catch up, ive always been.:D

im still missing you like the storm misses the rain, like a warm summers day. ive been missing you always. im still breathing you like you here in my arms, like youre not even gone. and i feel like this always. coz im still missing you. i miss you.
There’s a woman crying out tonight. Her world has changed. She asks God why Her only son has died And now her daughter cries. She can’t sleep at night. Downtown another day for all the suits and ties. Another war to fight. There’s no regard for life. How do they sleep at night. How can we make things right. Just wanna make this right.

bye readers! :D

2009-12-20T01:50:00.002+08:00

cool right? i mean seriously, the classic is always the best. i have one that looks like it but only different colour. im finding the t shirt and the original belt. hee. i know i sound childish but everyone has a hero and mine is Batman. so screw whoever hates him. :D

today i went to cousins place. had family thingy stuff. kenduri doa selamat laaaa. haha. so yeah. oh ya, almost forgot. i had my hair cut. shit i hate my hair. its freaking short uh. the stupid stylist uh. i asked her to do my way, she does the other. sigh. i dont know la, i wont be going out soon coz my hair like shittt. haha. so anw back to cousin house. met ThePretty<3 And TheSweet<3... heeeee. muahahah. love them uh. we had story telling. then found out that my adik sedara had mile sia. he cannot move his right side of he's face. his muscle is weak or something. i pity him but i think its only temporary after all, he just recovered from a chicken pox and high fever. maybe that's the cause of his face being like that. nvm, i love my cousins.:D

k after that, my family went to marsiling. i bought new jeans uh. but somehow its kinda tight. haha. its like a perfect fit uh. but its comfortable. lol. :D. then went to eat satay and rojak! heee. best doh.. then went back home. watch cahaya. man the show gets very stupid in every episode. like very ergh! haha. oh well, the director is an idiot. what to do? jhaha. so yeah. that's al for the day uh.

oh my, you have no idea how i miss this few people. like seriously. firstly i miss the most is, my buddies. min, zi, fir, kal and li zhe. like hell lot uh. haha. need to meet them. :D coz they can crack up my day. haha.

then i miss SULASTRI! sulas, i miss you badly. i cant contact you coz my phone is busted. then when i online, you never online. sheesh. hard liao to meet you like that. and this tuesday we suppose to go out tau! hee. ill try to contact you somehow laaa. then i miss putri qistina. haha. my bestie since sec 1? or was it last year? but yeah, we are tight.:D. hmm, only that she have bf, its hard for us to meet. but its ok, i understand. :D. still love you guys. :D

then i also miss Azirah Azlan. no words to describe it laaaa. just miss you badly. :(
cepat sembuh k? :)

k la, actually i also kinda miss school. i think im school sick? haha. oh well, few more weeks to school reopens. :D meet friends school.:D

goodbye readers. till we meet again. heee.:D

2009-12-18T23:01:00.003+08:00

AShidy Ridwan. New Born Artist?? you choose. for me, he can make it to business. but not far. :D he have to show something incredible. and this songs almost similar to Rihanna-Cry song. hmm. wonder if he gets he's inspiration from her. hahah oh well. here this song. its kinda nice. for me its good.:D love it. :D

2009-12-18T22:03:00.004+08:00

i dont understand. why you still defending him when you know his wrong? wait, i mean both of you guys are in the wrong. listen, you already did what you did wrong, you know its wrong, accept the fact and move on. i know she'll find it out sooner or later. you should have thought of that before doing all those sins. and if you're not down with that, i got to words for you, SUCK IT!_!_

haha. sorry bout the top. its just stupid, doesnt makes sense and the worst part is, im getting blame for shitty things like this. sheesh. as if i dont have other things to do. oh well, its human. that's why i hate them. freakos. alright then. enough bout that. get me upset only. so, this is what's happened for today. i was from my cousins place. haha. well, we did nothing but play games and watch movies. hmm. then went back home. at home, people was viewing my house to bid for my place. coz im moving house you see. im going to move to woodlands. thanks uh, further from school and friends. hah. niceeee. well, the truth is, im hungry. haha. ive eaten twice today. but still hungry. sheesh.

was suppose to have a match against fajar sec ytd but was postpond to monday because of the rain. haha. but no matter, we still continued to have training. and after training, we had a mini match. it was awesome man. match between us only uh. haha. we need to work on our defence and strikers man. our midfields, i think can already uh. but the only thing is that, the midfields need to have more stamina. haha. which im lack of coz i play a key role in the team. im a center/defensive midfielder and i need to give support to both offensive and defensive. but mostly defensive uh. but stil, OMG uh. i cant even play the full game. the most i can stand is 60-70 minutes. after that, im dead beat! haha. oh well, that's why i need all the training i can get to build up my fitness. the match that we had against each other was great. mainly because i got praises from coach alot. and for the first time, i felt that i actually did something right through out the whole game. haha.

this is veryy scary alright. i was watching discovery channel and watch this show called MOST EVIL. and its about the nastiest, crueliest and animal acts thing in the world. haha. its brutal uh. its about most wanted killers uh. and the killers are not man, they are women. and as i was watching, i noticed that most of the woman serial killers, killed their own loved ones and some other person just for fun of it. some is because they had a bad childhood. and the most brutal thing is that, some of them kill their love ones such as families and thier own child just to seek attention from others as others would pity them. like wtf uh? the story is interesting yet sad. sigh. haha, now i have to really be careful of women nowadays. hahahaha.

okok, my plans for next week. hmm. monday, have match against fajar but im not sure whether ill be able to make it or not uh coz like im not sure if im working or not uh. sigh. :( then also on tuesday, maybe i go out with putri! haha. miss her. and joining us will be hirzi and sulastri. i think. i not sure uh. hahahahahaha. then after that. im free. maybe ill start to mug again. hmm. still not sure when to buy my books. oh well, dont know laaaaa.

wow, i miss azirah like alottttt. but she's sick. hmm. text her also very hard uh coz i dont want to disturb her resting and other more important stuff. so yeah. hmm.

k la, gtg. ill post again soon. tomorow, going kak aza's house for gathering. weeeeeeee.:D WHAT TO WEAR!?

as'salamualaikum to all readers. :D

ok then. till here i guess. if you not down with that, i got two words for ya, SUCK IT! haha. love saying that.

2009-12-17T19:22:00.003+08:00

hey people! im staying over at my cousin house. so if you want to contact me, just call me. :D
okokokokokok?

Azirah, i miss you hell lot. :D. so call me later if you reading this or what so ever laaaaa.. :D
k buhbye!

ill post tomorow or the day after.:D

2009-12-17T16:34:00.000+08:00

IM STRESSED OUT! :( SOMEBODY HELP MEEEEEEE. :(

2009-12-16T22:21:00.002+08:00

im really in a tight spot right now. shit. im in a difficult position. honestly. this saturday would be kind of hard for me. coz i need to tell her what ive been keeping inside and kept a secret from her. i know i should have told her a long time ago but i dont want to upset her. im really confused. seriously. sigh. im scared if she knows, she would freak out and somehow or somewhat a friendship might be involved. i dont know. im scared for her now. seriously. i dont mind the guy, i have always disliked him. haha. eversince i know what he has done. seriously. hahahah.
damn it. i'm in a lot of stress this coming saturday. but i hope she takes it easy and hopes she wont freak out or anything. lets hope she keeps her cool and stuff. doa doakan la yerrr. :/

anyway, today went to cousin house. we watch alot of pirated dvds. haha. planet 51 was boring sia. haha. urm, aliens in the artic was great. funny like shit. jennifers body is hot. heee.haha. what else eh? ninja assasin if effing boring la. waste my time watching only. what else eh? i think that's all uh. haha. heeeeeeeee. then we played fifa 10 on xbox 360. omg, i played 6 times straight uh against my brother. haha. very hard sia. he's getting better. but i still win la. obviously. haha.
hmm. now, my bro sleepover there. im at home coz tomoro i got match against fajar. sigh. i feel so lazy la seh... hmph. but nehmind ill go.

k la, i'll post later again k? if i got something to talk about uh. coz someone need a shoulder to cry on and as usual, they'll find me. sigh, typical. aha, tk ikhlas seh fyque! ikhlas laaa. hmm.

as'salamualaikum readers. :D

2009-12-16T15:05:00.002+08:00

i wants to share this feelings i had. and it might be sensitive to girls coz all my links are girls. hahah. ok whatever. i need to let this out.

as days goes by, i cant seem to find girls that is very humble, very gentle, feminine and goes with thier beliefs. i havent found that girl yet. all i ever encounters with are those girls who ran away from home, smokes, join gangs and rude. girls who like to talk smack all the time, thinking that they rule the universe. im not saying that i want a perfect girl. there's no perfect girl. but at least i want to see that those girls have not forgotten god. and know what are thier mistakes. from what is right and wrong. im not saying that im an angel or so. im not that perfect anyway. i did alot of sins too but at least im trying to cut down on them. coz firstly, i never ever want to dissapoint my parents coz they brought me up to be a good man. but sometimes, i hang out with certain different groups of people myself. and i know that they are bad company. so i chose to stay away from them coz i know that they are not my true friends.

i mean seriously, whoevers reading this, think about it. dyou really think that type of friends will be there when you are seriously in need? like maybe you are going to jail and maybe you can bail out with payment of $5000 dollars. you think those friends are going to chip in money to bail you out?? i dont think so. they are there only when you guys are not in the need. you know what i mean? im sorry if i offended some people but i just think its logic.

the reason i post this is because im sick and tired of a friend of mine hanging out with those mats and minahs. and when she was caught by police, she came looking for me. why doesnt she look for thier so called "sisters and brothers?" well, i help her anyway. i called her parents and her parents bailed her out. i think she's going to girls home. for me, she deserve to go there coz she needs some discipline and learn to manage herself well. im not sure of the verdict yet but i think its best for her uh. i mean i also dont want her to go but i think its best for her. :(

so yeah. think about it k people out there. :D. im talking mainly about the malay teens. hahahahah. goodbye! :D

2009-12-16T13:12:00.002+08:00

Look At This Beauty, Camilla Belle.

She Plays the lead actress role for "When a stranger Calls" and "10'000BC". i fell in love with her when she plays 10'000 bc. she shines seriously. ahhhhhh! she's next on my list. hahah. the only thing i dont like about her is that she's dating Joe Jonas! wth?! camilla one advise, find other guy please. you and joe dont look together. find someone like me or something. hahahahahahahahahahaha. eeeee fyque terasa. hahah.

oh well. nothing to say now. things to do for today. nothing. maybe ill start studying. haha

goodbye.

2009-12-16T02:13:00.003+08:00

k anyway, lets talk about what i do today. hmm.
NOTHING laaaaaaa. as usual. sigh. i have a boring life huh? haha
was supposed to go gym today but friends paitau last minute. idiots.
i was all packed and ready. sigh. oh well, maybe tomorow going then thursday got match. hmm. so much for keeping myself busy. hahahah.

haha i want to share with you something i learnt from mummy today. hahahahha.
the thing i learnt is that mummy doesnt like to have chinese girls as her "in laws"
hahahhahaha. yeah i said. i dont knw the reason why but yeah she dont like it.

coz i ask her, "umi, i know this girl uh. her name is xiu yen....." haha. before i continued,
she said, "is she chinese?"
i was like "yup she is" i was smiling.
then she said "nope, not interested." then i was all gloomy. haha why?!!!!!. the girl is awesome uh. i think. for me uh. so far. dont know her that well but she speaks malay too. no that well. like that like that only. she's cute. haha. my mum rejected sia straight away. and the funny thin is i havent even told her that i was going to date her or not. haha.

then my mum was like. "you can be friends with her, date her, do anything with her. just dont make her my daughter in law." hahhaha.
then i was like, "im not ready to get married mi.."
she said, "i dont care, you might never know. see teenagers nowadays. nah, examples!"

hahah. my mums gone cuckoo. lol. i love her. i meant my mum not that girl. not yet maybe. hahah. so yeah. sorry chinese ladies, i think if you want to get to know me or be with me, you got to somehow look less like a chinese. hahah. which is impossible. lol. k i got to stop now. coz, like i said in my earlier post that s'pore is mostly populated by chinese. and i dont make jokes bout them coz yknow, i dont wanna...die.. hahahahahahha. wow. i cant believe its 2:36am in the morning! hahah.

Azirah blames me for not texting her and bully her coz she miss me. :((, so sad tau. i also miss her.. :( but she never text me.. booohooooo! *crying.

2009-12-16T00:59:00.003+08:00

let me tell you a very sad story man! i almost cried when i heard bout this story.
im not sure if its a true story or not. this story happens few years ago at united states florida. i think. so here goes.

there was this family, the barens'. they are an ordinary family. a happy family of four. the couples and thier two sons. one had just finish his college while the other was 2 years in high school. and mr.baren, had just watch his oldest son, eric, played for his school hockey team and eric was offered a scholarship in hockey represent team usa. mr.baren was proud of his son. Mr. baren calls eric he's golden boy. obviously, eric was his favourite son. but that night, after the game. mr.baren and his son stop by to a nearby gas station to buy some tidbits and drinks to celebrate at home later. and it was late at night. suddenly, 2 cars came swirling in. the cars stop and a group of mask man burst out the doors carrying loaded guns. while that's happening. mr.baren was talking to his wife on the phone while minding the car but Eric was inside buying the items. so the group of mask man came in the store pulls up thier guns threatening the cashier and eric. the cashier reacts quick and push the emergency button. he tries to escape but was shot by one of the mask man with a shotgun. eric was dumbfounded and shakened. his father was outside, noticed the gun fired and looked in search for his son. but he was too late. as he looks in the transparent glass of the store, his son was to his knees. in front of him was one of the mask man holding a long knife stained with blood. to mr.barens' fright, eric was bleeding from neck down. he was slaughtered from his neck. the group of mask man ran off after he slaughtered eric. mr. baren rushe to see his sons condition. it was bad. eric, 20, died from loss of blood. few days later, the guy who killed eric was caught. but it doesnt seems all justified yet. coz since the gas station was not inserted with cameras and mr.baren was the only witness. at most the guy who killed mr.baren son would only be sentenced to 2-5 years in prison. mr. baren was displeased by this. he felt like the law was unfair to him coz he lost his son. when the court ask mr.baren if the guy who murdered his son guilty, mr.baren looked at that killer and surprisingly objects to the case. the killer was free from charges.

but little did the kiler knows, that mr.baren had taken matters on his own hands. he follows the killer to his group of gangsters and waited for the right moment to strike. and one night, he had that chance. mr.baren stabbed the killer and killed him. mr.baren was not proud of what he had done but at the same time felt satisfied. but a few days later, the leader of the group happens to find out about the lost. he was mad. he was mad coz that killer was his brother. he then assembled his gangs and went looking for the man who did it. then one day they found out it was the victims father who killed his brother. they then went to search for him and tried many attempts to kill mr.baren but somehow mr.baren manage to escape. so that faithful night, the gang members broke into mr.baren house. beat up mr.baren and shot him, his wife and his younger son or his only son. but miraculously, mr.baren and his son survive. his wife didnt make it as his wife were shot in the head while mr.baren and his son were shot in the back of their body. mr. baren was fired up this time. he then escapes from the hospital and bought a few guns to finish the gangs off. he search for the leader. he killed all the gang members. including the leader.

so yeah. thats the story. i dont really know is its based on a true story or not. but its a hell of a story! awesome man! haha. i dont know what happens to mr.baren after he killed all those gang members. i think he was sentenced to jail or maybe was hang to death. i think. hmm. very sad huh? i think so. its kinda long story. haha. so yeah. but awesome uh.

2009-12-15T01:08:00.002+08:00

Hold me, Both our bodies close together. Teasin' me, Let me get to know you better. Plaince me, Theres chemistry between us, can't u see. But I guess you're not there for me. I can't take this no more. Baby close the door, There's somethin' you should know. What's been goin' on, It's messin' with my heart. I can't even start To describe what I've been holdin' inside.

Cause she's just a friend. Yes, she'll never know. It's makin' it harder for me to let go. Cause she's just a friend, Yes, she'll never know.Sometimes I wish I never met her at all.(really!)

Tell me, I gotta be tryna' make this thing alright.Can't be, If they're makin' mistakes on all day, all night. Tellin' me, Cause I want you girl, hurts the most.That you're just too blind to see, Baby. I can't take this no more. Baby close the door. There's somethin' you should know. Still I haven't felt a way to show my feelings for you. There were so many times that I thought you knew. Like a fool I've waited' every time for you to say.That I feel the same way too.

Baby, don't you know
Don't you know what I've been tryin' to tell you?

2009-12-14T22:35:00.002+08:00

i really dont want to post about this but i cant help it.

i dont know why or what is their problem uh seriously. if people dont want your items, accept it. must you give us that stressed up face? or give us that innocent look? and when we say no, we meant it. NO! yeah, im talking about you people who sells goods from house to house. i dont mean to be rude but sometimes you guys are blaming us for not being able to help you gained profits. i mean, cmon, give us a break. we cant help you all the time. and i dont know what are your issues with us not able to buy things from you. you'll give us that pathetic and angered look. as if you're not satisfied or want to fight or something. please, as a worker or seller or anything, the customer is always right! haha. i learnt that from Mr.Krabs from Spongebob Squarepants. only that Mr. Krabs Phrase are "The Money's Always Right!" haha. so yeah. like just now, this chinese woman who sells vitagen, 1 packet for $3.50. its reasonable but the thing is im out of cash. i explain to her but she wont budge. she's either stupid or stupid. so choose. haha. anw, she kept insisting to see my parents. i told her that my parents not at home for what, 4 times? and she wont listen. i finally fed up, i open the door and told her to check in the house. then she look at me and roll her eyes, she said something in hokkien while walking away. i then intimidate what she said in more of an insulting way. haha. she look back and roll her eyes again, pissed.

pfft like whatever loserrrr. sheesh. no offence to other chinese people. heee. i dont really make jokes bout you guys coz you know, errrr, singapore is mostly populated by chinese and you know, errr, i dont wanna, i dont wanna die. hhaa. but honestly, that old lady has got to back off. haha. okok enough about her. pfft, makes me mad je thinking bout it.

wow. i was at home all day. nothing to do. bored like hell. ouh i composed another song. haha. its funny coz i havent finish my first song. hmm. i was bored all day so i was playing the guitar. strumming anyhow and then SNAP! something came up. i repeated the strumming and modified some chords and BAM! haha. i created a new song. but i havent write the lyrics though. hmm. i like the music part when comes to lyrics, i dont really have that inspiration that i need. that urm, i dont know whats in english but its called ILHAM!. i dont have that "ilham" that im searching for. haa.. i need to go to east coast park uh. where the breeze of wind and the sound of the sea makes me have new ideas and i can write my songs from there. hmm. oh well, have to try to make it here then. haha.

tomorow schedule, meeting haikal, min and fir for Gym tomorow. im abit lazy but sacrifice for them. i need to exercise as well. lol. im gaining weight by the day. haha. mum cook so delicious i cant stand away from them. no food is better then your MUMS'. honestly. whichever restaurant you eat and taste good. as time goes by, you'll come craving for your mum's delicacy. hahah trust me. ive been there, done that.

ok la. ive got nothing to post la. ill post tomorow k?

i miss azirah. haha, and all me other friends.

goodbye. see ya when i see ya. :D

2009-12-14T18:57:00.002+08:00

DYOU WANNA SEE WEREWOLVES FROM SINGAPORE?! here they are.

Syukri Uley

Syafiq Black

hahahah. how? can or not? represent singapore liao! i cant stop laughing looking at myself. i look idiotic sia. this is a keeper. hahah. have fun while it lasted! lol.

2009-12-14T15:55:00.002+08:00

Can I Have This Shoes Mummy?! PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEASE! i can die just watching at this shoes. pls oh pls oh pls.

anw, im at home now. alone. all have gone out. im freaking bored. sigh. my back still hurts. when is this pain going to end? i also dont know. pain liao. im also encounters like a short sharp pain not in my teeth but in my head. it feels like an electric current. it hurts i tell you. hell lot! must be because i havent been taking my medicine i think. hahahah. oh well, better dead than sorry. hahahahahah. wth?!

a friend once told me that he always thought of travelling around the world when he's older and going to travel with his family. i said go for it man. you can do it if you believe it. sigh, i had to lie to that friend of mine. i realise something. you wont get what you always wanted. you will get what you always never thought would happened. its life. and sure did, his family fall apart. his sister got married and decided to live independently. his brother wants to further study in UK. his parents are always fighting. im not sure what happen to his parents. but i know that he's not living the life he thought would end up. sometimes, dreams can be bad. but usually dreams do destroy. its life.

2009-12-13T23:23:00.002+08:00

Dont Ever Lie, Steal Or Cheat! if you have to lie, lie only to the ones you love. if you have to steal, steal only to the enemy. and if you have to cheat, cheat to realise that they/it is what you ever wanted! :D

i am actually watching classical malay movie; Ali Baba Bujang Lapok. haha. although its an ancient movie for me, its still is funny. its lame funny. haha. come to think about it, without this type of movies and actors, there will never be any of thier kind nowadays. its like, the past is the new future. without the past, there's no future. get what i mean? i bet you do. haha. its the same goes with music, if there's no oldies type of music, there wont be future music. artist nowadays gets their inspiration mostly from the past. hee. cool or what?! niceeeee.

i realise something, why does relationship always starts off so good but ended up so bad? i question myself sometimes. sigh. coz in all my relationship ended like that. hmm. i mean its always so emotional and i really try to stay away from having a relationship coz i know myself. i wont be a good boyfriend to anyone coz im someone that needs time for myself more than giving others. and im someone who follows my mood much more.. and my mood is always a "alone" moments. idk actually. i recently always wants to be alone. doesnt communicate that much. hmm. on one hand, im actually worried about my studies. im scared i flunk in my studies. being the top 10 isnt easy as it looks. my dad wants me to at least reach the top 5. sigh. how?! very hard la siot! i know i can do it. but really depends uh. haha. boleh gitu? on the other hand, im worried of how my family and friends going to be in the future, i mean, ive heard alot of stories from my sisters and cousins that are older than me said that dont put too much hope on thinking that your friends is who they are coz you might never know the true colours. then i was like dont really care coz i know who my friends are and how they manage themselves. i think. idk la kan..

oh yeah, im gonna have $350 tau! but next year early january. its a bursery thingy. haha. my dad says i can only have $50?! then i was like, NUH UH! after all those knowledge i stuffed inside my head, no way im getting only $50. at least halve of the amount! :D my dad just grined.
so whoever wants to join me go out shopping, pls contact me. muahahhaha. kidding.

k la, im off to watch Arsenal Vs Liverpool! a big match. hard to predict which one could win. but i think its a draw. 2-2. think only la kan. so much for my brother want to watch soccer with me. sigh. haha. thanks uh. he's asleep. oh well. lol. guess its just me.

goodnight readers. :D love you all.

2009-12-13T20:01:00.002+08:00

Greetings Earthlings!
this is Fyque and ill be your host for tonight.
muahahahha. im back la. alot has happened during my AFB! (away from blog).

i went to Sarawak for 5 days with friends and teachers. awesome experience and the place is beautiful. haha. beautiful by day, scary by night. haha. seriously, its kinda scary sleeping at longhouses and cabins. haha. the last day was awesome! coz we check in a 5 star hotel room! heee. the boring part was that it only for a day. so kinda nothing the feeling. haha. anw, to say for the overall, it was a great experience uh.

i also went to KL. haha. with family this time. it wasnt like the holiday i expected but i had fun uh. went there for a wedding invitation but also holiday but less of holiday uh. hmm. did shopping too.:D bought 2 belts, a watch, 4 shirts. well, i had a hard time trying to pick a few items to buy. too many hesitations. haha. lol. hmm.

for the now, im at home, doing literally nothing. haha. hav trainings but to be honest, felt like not going uh. no mood uh.

so apparently i have a sucky life. hahah.

ill post soon. ill try. :D

2009-11-08T22:45:00.000+08:00

IM NOT GOING TO POST ANYTHING FOR QUITE SOMETIME. NO REASON WHY! :D

2009-10-28T23:09:00.001+08:00

I know you don't like hearing this
But i feel like were makin' a huge mistake
Maybe it's too late now, maybe i should just let you go
Listen

Boy meets girl
Girl likes boy
It was your typical story
But it's hard to get

I made you wait
And you kept your eye on the prize
It all paid off cause you found love
And everything fit like a glove
Perfect

But so it seemed to be to me
Tell me is this worth it
Girl no body's perfect
So what, so what am i supposed to do

And everytime i try to walk away
Something else reminds me i should stay
Girl I know i should be strong
But girl it feels so wrong
Moving on
It's so much easier said than done

We spent some time
When you were mine
Tell me where it all went
You promised me
You'd never leave
Do you break all your promises?

Just like you broke my heart so easily
Sayin' you love me was just for teasin' me
I wanted the real thing
But you lost the feelin' for me

And now, is this worth it?
When we're both hurting
I know you can't hide it from yourself

I know
We've had our ups and downs
We need sometime alone
Maybe it's best we go our own ways
But its so hard

2009-10-23T19:55:00.002+08:00

8th place in my class position

not bad huh? hahaha. i was surprise seh. haha. so happy! lol.

anw, today was awesome. i lazy to post uh but i want to stretch on the acapella group that sang just now in the hall. they were awesome. haha. i really wanted a group that can harmonize well. its my dream. lol. awesome kan? super! best in the world! k uh. tired uh. haha. goodbye!
:)
heeeeeeee!

2009-10-22T20:13:00.003+08:00

SCHOOL WAS BOOOHOOOOOORRRRRIIIIIIINNNNGGGG!

i mean seriously! omg! we spent 3/4 of the day in the hall. omg. there was like a speech made from our principal, well as for now, ex principal and performance by some group with drums. (awesome by the way.) yeah. i was late for school. haha. but the funny thing was that the security guard thought i was sec 4. lol. coz sec 4 got o-level exams and the exams starts around 9 am so i arrived around 8.30am. so i tricked the security guard and tick whoever names that were there. haha. so i escaped from having to sing the national anthem alone, escaped from calling my parents and escaped detention. how lucky am i? the luckiest! haha.

anyway. to start off the day was that my class had a lecture about games addiction stuff. haha. i didnt pay attention though. boring! after that me and few of my buddies had to take charge of the inter-house games for the sec 1. it was cool. i became the referee. it was all taken over by students. haha. it was fun. after all that, we went to the hall for the speech. our principal wanted to retire. haha. i mean boohoo. im gonna miss her. i think. depends on how the next principal gonna be. the next principal gonna give me attitude, im gonna miss my ex-principal. if not, then ill reconsider. haha. how bad am i? the badiest! haha.

k after that. i was to go and received my good conduct award! haha. i couldnt believe it uh. i thought its going to be putri or someone else. hahah. but im grateful la. haha. k after that. recess then go hall again. coz got performance. the drummers were awesome. honestly. but if you hear for long itme, quite boring too. i got the chance to go up the stage and try the drums. i tried the drum that was called the latin something something. hhaha. but seriously. it kind of fun but boring. lol.

after school, lepak with my guys at street soccer court. then play soccer untill 3.40 like that. then meet my SAYANG! hee. best. then go lepak with her auntil 6.30pm! awesome. muah! love you loads.

k la malas nk tulis ape2 uh. tomorow another stupid day. k la.
assalamualaikum!