Friday, 7 May 2010
{ 9:21 pm }
Im tired. im sick. im sick and tired of hoping.
im tired of thinking. im tired of pretending that everything is ok
when the fact is, its not. im tired of telling everyone that its ok, dont worry.
when deep down i know, im worried like hell and everything's not ok. everything changed.
i should have listen to those who neglected about the decisions that we're gonna take. but no, we were blinded by our thoughts, feelings. we were never ready. we knew that. but we try it anw. and look where it brought us. we both were in a wrong. no doubt about that. i was too emotional, you were just too careless. is this fate? i tried so many times to save us but still you couldnt see. you chose the easy way out- to leave. without even putting any fucking effort in saving us.
i feel foolish, foolish that i still wants you even after all that you've done. im embarrassed by myself as i couldnt even let you slip away from me. i never wanted you to be gone from my life. i never wanted you to leave. we've been through so much to end this. but why cant you see it? why you never showed that you wanted this? i wanted the real thing but you lost the feelings for me. so we went back to just friends. back to the way we used to be. but still, its the same thing. you tryna avoid me? you have another guy? what is it? just tell me so that i could put my mind at ease. i really want this to be back to normal, but you are not helping me. this is what both of us want but you are not putting any effort to do so. you're afraid you'll hurt me. girl, nobody's perfect. but at least put an effort to not hurt me. do less things that you'll know you'll hurt me. and ill do the same. but even now, you're already doing things that i dislikes. what's this?
now im thinking very hard. should i let you go? or should i believe that we'll pull it through. but by the looks of it, you dont even care about whats going on here. im upset that we only had that period of time together. i wanted more but maybe its fate. i never wanted this to end. but i guess, since you're not interested. why should i? im thinking of us just being schoolmates and just pretend that none of this ever happened. you'll go your way. ill go mine. but why is it so fucking hard?!
:'(
Labels: You've made me cry
