i dont understand what i did wrong? honestly, its very frustrating.. i wondered to myself every single day.. i just want it to happened.. i want to share this feelings that stuck inside of me to you. i kept thinking if im doing what im doing is the one i really want or is just a matter of thought.. everytime i feel happy, excited..i must always find out that its all was out to waste coz i get to know that the things im doing wasnt effective.. seriously, i dont know what to do! if there's any chance for me to win it.. ill go for it, but as far as im concern...
it just doesnt seem to go anywhere..
sometimes i really feel like i just dont wanna live coz its too much problems.. but i know, i just cant run away from them, so i tried to overcome them.. if cant, i either let it be or find people to help me out.. but recently, its really have become a serious burden for me. i really feel so weak and emotional recently.. i feel jelous, angry, rude and sad..but it all mixed in one and it felt weird.. hais, i really dont know.. im just confused.. i really have to make decisions but im afraid what im doing will not be the right one, like always!!! ergh! CRAP! honestly i feel like killing myself! i should not have recovered from that sickness..i should just ignore the pain, let me die faster.. i wanna meet ALLAH! i dun know what im saying already..i feel lost.. to those people who care, im sorry if u feel uncomfortable for me to say this stuff but seriously, i just wish you all never had met me.. its not you guys, its me.. you guys are good people in different ways.. its me.. i kept making the wrong choices..hmm..
i really hope that my suffering and emotions would heal fast so that i could just have a relaxing and enjoyable time.. FCUK lA!
